Urban Goes Country

A lot of catching up....

2011-12-07T22:16:00.000-08:00

I have thought about quitting blogging. Because who has time to blog, really. But then my little friend Macey Marrs told me that she used to be my 'biggest blog fan', back when I used to blog that is. So Macey, this post is just for you.

Jude got me set back to iphoto, so I went back all the way through September and picked out a few of the highlights. Which made me realize that when I'm not blogging, I'm not taking many photos. In fact, when I went to get out my fancy camera yesterday, I realized that I had forgotten how to use it on the manual setting! Now that is sad!

So here are some of the (few) pictures I've taken over the past few months. I promise I will do better, Mom and Dad, now that I have iphoto back. At least I 'think' I will.

Here are the two September birthdays...Hope and Joseph. Both age 7. Next month I will have FOUR 7 year olds!

We had all three of these little munchkins on a little special needs soccer team, briefly. They were the only ones on the team! And after about the 4th week of practice, we realized Zoya would rather dress up in butterfly wings, Joseph would rather write on his face with magic marker, and Ava would rather keep her little bald head in the shade. Needless to say we didn't finish the season, but at least I got this really cute picture.

Hope learned to ride a bike! Thanks Aunt Lisa!

The guys tore out the particle board stairs and replaced them with beautiful oak...I can't believe I haven't taken an 'after' photo yet. And I can't believe we survived over a week with our staircase looking like this!

The cousins from Minnesota came to visit for Thanksgiving (yes, in the midst of the staircase chaos). I took a look at the above scene and said, "Man that's a lot of kids!"....And grabbed my camera.

Only four kids went trick or treating. The other rode in the van and made fun of the kids trick or treating...(Ugh, teenagers!)

We literally threw costumes together in five minutes, because I really had no intentions of trick or treating, which is why Joseph is technically wearing PJs as Spongebob. Hope was my favorite, as cafeteria lady, "Marge", complete with apron, pot, ladle, and hairnet.

This was really special. About fifteen years ago, before we ever had kids of our own, we were foster parents. This beautiful young bride and her sister lived with us for about nine months as their parents were going through some tough times. Fifteen years later, this September, Kim got married, and she asked John to walk her down the aisle and give her away. It was really an honor for him (and for me too). We have learned first hand that there are some really neat kids in the foster care system. And neat foster kids turn into neat adults. It's been a blessing to keep in touch with these girls for all these years. We love you, Kim and Teri!

And now, for the most unexpected and exciting news of all!!..............................................................................

We found ourselves a few weeks ago, with a VERY pregnant dog. The neighbor dog got to Nellie before we got around to getting her spayed (which was on my long list of things to do eventually).

Regardless, here are the newest little mouths to feed. They will ALL need new homes, so if you or someone is in need of a Christmas puppy, just let me know!

The kids gave them temporary names to differentiate who was who.

Just imagine nuzzling up into their soft warm fuzz, hearing their little whimpers in your ear, smelling their sweet puppy breath. Just picture how cute one would look with a big red bow around its neck, sitting under your Christmas tree. :) Your kids will love you forever!

I'm still here

2011-10-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

I appreciate those of you who have called and emailed checking in to make sure we are OK. Yes, we are all fine and dandy. It has become increasingly difficult to find computer time lately, as I'm sure you can imagine. :)

Just a little update on everyone:

John and I have been hosting a small group/book study with several fellow church member families at our home on Wednesday nights.. We are studying the book Weird by Craig Groeschel. We have been attending Life Church for about eight months now and we are all loving it. Even the kids look forward to it every Sunday, and John and the older kids serve by setting up and tearing down as we are temporarily meeting at our local elementary school. An added bonus is it is just across the street, and there are 1:1 helpers for Ava and Joseph.

Last weekend my dad was on a businees outreach to Thailand, and my mom was here to visit. It was really nice to just hang out with my mom for a few days. A few of us (Hope, Jude, Joseph, my mom and I) made a spontaneous trip to Minnesota to bring back a dog (long story). We had a wonderful stay with my brother and his family. They had my nephew's little motorcycle set up with training wheels, and Joseph learned how to ride a motorcycle...with a little supervision of course. I have the cutest pictures, and if I could ever figure out how to EASILY get pictures from my phone to my blog, I would most definitely post them here! He was in heaven!

Simeon is growing up before our very eyes. Over the summer he started talking in a low voice. There is nothing weirder than calling your son on the phone and hearing a man's voice say "Hi Mom". He is in a Challenge class through Classical Conversations and is learning they don't call it "Challenge" for nothing. He is growing and stretching in every aspect, and making some deep friendships in the process. He spends his time playing soccer, fishing, air soft guns with his buddies, and is involved in youth group. His strong personality makes it challenging to parent him sometimes :) but that makes him a great leader. He is a great kid.

Liesel is a homeschool mom's dream. She loves to be challenged academically and is always looking for new things to try and learn. She is my most rule abiding child and that makes her a great babysitter. She is so helpful around here! She really seems to love having special needs siblings to love and teach. She has picked up the piano so quickly and effortlessly (has been taking lessons for eight months). She and John have a little hobby. It is called raising calves. She has her boots on at 6 every morning walking to the barn to bottle feed the babies. She is also raising two guinea pigs, Prince and Princess. Sometimes I hear her talking baby talk to them up in their room, just like I have always talked to my babies. ha. She will be a great mom someday.

Jude is my little computer genius. He is always watching computer tutorials and apps, etc. and trying to teach me how to use the Mac or my iPhone. Whenever anyone has a computer problem, it is always, "Ask Jude." Which reminds me, I really need to ask him how to get photos on this blog from Picasa. ugh. I am not pleased with Picasa!..Anyway, he also enjoys making movies on his own Mac laptop, which he bought with his own Christmas, birthday, and allowance money by the way. Also, he loves something called "garage band" and is teaching himself how to write his own music. He is really cute and I like him a lot.

It is Ok that I'm bragging on my own kids isn't it?

Hope turned 7 last month. She is really growing up. Her adult teeth are coming in, which I find a little depressing. If you have seen her in the last couple of weeks, I am sure she has told you that she learned to ride a bike at Aunt Lisa's house last weekend. She is like her sister in that she devours books, big ones. She is, like her older siblings, taking piano lessons and just about has 'Cheerful Chimes' down. I'll be so glad when she moves on to the next piece. lol. She loves loves loves having Joseph, Ava, and Zoya to play with. She is really a big helper, especially when I'm trying to make dinner when she takes them outside to the playground. It sure is nice to be able to cook without a bunch of little ones pulling on me and standing in front of me and fiddling with the stove nobs.

Ava is loved by everyone. Seriously, she is so squishy and soft and fun to cuddle with. I think everyone in the family agrees. She has become so much more social in the last year. Still not talking other than an occasional, "Hi Dad", or "Stop!" But her sign language has really blossomed and she is learning to ask, through signs, the things she wants and needs. This is so huge for her, and honestly something I was never sure she would be able to do. The other day when my sister walked in my house holding my new baby (brown) niece, Ava started signing "brown baby". Of course, I had to ask my kids what she was saying, and they all knew 'brown' from watching Signing Times. It was pretty much the sweetest thing ever. In fact, it made me cry a little. My little girl not only knowing the sign for baby, but knowing that the baby was brown on top of that. How awesome is she! I want you to know, that not only is she now walking everywhere, but we have even seen her RUNNING a few times. :) And a few days ago while the kids were dancing in the living room, she was JUMPING up and down. Who knew the 4 year old girl who didn't even know how to roll over would someday be able to run and jump! She is in public school this year and is doing so well. Her teacher even said some of the typical kids adore her and call her their friend. Sweet!

Joseph is still as rowdy and rambunctious as ever! He makes me so tired sometimes. He is very sneaky and manipulative but he has a killer smile and most persuasive puppy dog eyes in the world. He LOVES to hug and kiss and snuggle so it is extremely difficult to stay mad at him for very long. I had his IEP meeting recently and while looking at last year's goals realized that he had met every one of them. School has been the best thing for him. John bought him a ream of paper for his birthday, and when he opened it up, rather than tearing the paper like he normally does, he ran to the crayon drawer, sat down at the table, and started coloring. Yay! He has learned to use paper appropriately! He has also learned to draw a (rough) circle, lines, and use scissors. He is learning sight words. The cafeteria lady pulled me aside last week and asked me if I would consider letting him eat in the cafeteria since they were having to replace so many the trays of the other kids that Joseph takes the food from. OOOOPS! I guess we still have some work to do in that department.

Zoya: If it wasn't for her eating and weight issues, I would say she was doing great. Sadly, I never knew how eating issues could affect an entire family so profoundly. Sometimes I feel as if my world revolves around feeding time and a feeding tube. Sometimes I feel so anxious and guilty and obsessed with trying to fix her. We have learned through an MRI that at some point in her early life, Zoya had some kind of a stroke or brain trauma. We are not clear how or whether this plays into her problems but I do wonder if it does somehow. Her swallow study came back normal, and so for months I thought it was behavioral until another speech therapist explained that a swallow study only tests one of the three phases of swallowing, and that she can't seem to get the food to the back of her throat to swallow it. But strangely sometimes she CAN. And the most bizarre of all is that even with all the calories we are pumping into her throughout every day, she is still just barrrrreeeeeellllllly gaining weight. She is up to 29 pounds now, which is a record for her. But that is after 15 months of intense feeding therapy, she has gained just 9 pounds. At times I wonder if it is worth it. Sometimes I think she would prefer just being a anorexic looking but 'normal' kid rather than having to have formula that makes her sick pumped into her stomach all the time. I guess the general consensus is that she has a super high metabolism (due to the HIV), a lack of appetite (due to the FAS), and strong gag reflex and difficulty swallowing (due to 13 wk prematurity and brain stroke as an infant). Every now and then she will surprise us by saying she is hungry and then eating a few chips or something, but we haven't seen any rhyme or reason to this behavior. I really don't think the cleft palate has anything to do with anything, interestingly enough. She is seeing three different speech therapists including the one at school, one for speech, and one for feeding. I am praying something will make a difference soon! Or at least that I can quit worrying so much over her! On a positive note, she is having a fabulous year at school, and aside from the feeding challenges, she is a wonderful and sweet little girl. We love her.

John just walked by and saw me blogging picture-less, and he promised to convert me back to iphoto. Maybe I will have photos again soon after all. I never thought a blog post was worth making without photos. If you are still reading this, I do appreciate that a few of you have expressed concern and love for our family.

I hope you aren't sorry you asked!

Proudly introducing.....

2011-09-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

Today I became an aunt again!

My sister and her husband have been foster parents for a long time. In the last couple of years, they have had to say many painful goodbyes. I have watched my sister endure tremendous grief and sadness over the loss of children, from her womb, and from the foster care system. My tender hearted niece has been heartbroken as well, and for a very long time, she has prayed that Jesus would give her a little sister..... (And if she couldn't have a sister, then she would take another brother instead!)

In January, Little Carlie Rose entered the Camacho's home as only the most recent in a long string of foster children that had needed temporary shelter.

Little did they know that just eight months later, they would be standing before a judge, promising to FOREVER love and nurture her, and care for her just in the same way as if she had been born to them biologically. Little did any of them know how much they would grow to love that little girl in such a short time,

and that SHE.......would be....

Evi's answered prayer.

Welcome to your wonderful family, Carlie!

John and I (and a few of the kids) were honored to get to be in the courtroom with them to share this special day. Marlita asked the attorney to draw up a "legal" document for the kids to sign, agreeing to the adoption. I don't know how 'legal' it really is, but the judge said they needed to frame it and put it in their rooms......and when their new little sister gets into their stuff, they will look up at the framed document and it will remind them to be patient and understanding with her. So cute. :) This was my absolute favorite part of the day. Those kids were absolutely beaming with pride and joy!

Lots of tears were shed.....Happy tears.

And then we all got to go out for pizza afterwards to celebrate. What a fun day that I will certainly never forget. We are so blessed to have Carlie in our family!

And this last picture has absolutely nothing to do with the adoption ceremony...But it was so darn cute I had to include it! Don't you agree?

2011-08-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

Jude turned 10 last week. What a great young man he is turning out to be. Smart, sensitive, talented, and of course funny. :) John is taking the day off work tomorrow to celebrate. He says it is a surprise.....

Happy Birthday my son! Love you soooo much. I'm so happy God blessed me with YOU.

I love that the boys are starting to get along well (Aren't they starting to look more alike?) . They have absolutely nothing in common. One is neat, one is messy. One likes adventure, the other likes to play it safe. One likes sports and outdoors, the other likes computers and the weather. Night and day different, but somehow they have really started enjoying each other's company and sense of humor.

I started homeschooling the older kids last week, even while the little ones were still home. It was crazy to say the least! I was trying to deal with all the enrollment stuff so I gave the bigger kids an assignment to pick a subject they would like to learn more about, research it, and then write a short paragraph about what they learned.

Haha. I love this! Liesel wrote:

Why are there always shoes on the road?

There are lots of reasons.

1. Sometimes kids throw them out.

2. People take them off and put them on top of their car and forget about them.

3. Some shoppers wear new shoes home and dump the others on the road.

4. Some kids get chased by animals and throw their shoes at the animal.

The reason I loved this report so much is because I am constantly pointing out random shoes scattered on highways and roads and asking the kids why, WHY, do so many people feel an urge to throw their shoes out the window. Never in a million years would I have thought to actually research the topic. So Liesel did it for me. Love her!

Now, if you are like me, you will never have to wonder again, why there are shoes on highways.

I loved this sweet moment so much I had to ask Hope to hold the pose so I could grab my camera. She had let Zoya sleep in her bed. Once she was asleep Hope wrote 'I love you' notes, made a necklace out of one and laid the other by Zoya's pillow so she would see it first thing in the morning. I adore these girls and I am so thankful they love each other so much!

Ava, Zoya and Joseph started school last week and I couldn't be happier with their teachers, their classrooms and schedules. They are all doing so well and SO excited each morning to get to school. Zoya and Joseph are already surprising me by learning sight words. Wow, I am so impressed with the teachers and so glad we chose the route we did. Towards the very end of last year we finally broke down and put Zoya on ADD/ADHD medicine, and boy am I glad I did. It makes a HUGE difference in her ability to concentrate and my girl is learning so many new things! I am so very proud of them all.

How fun that J and Z get to share a classroom and even sit together. :)

Tonight, the boys Skyped Oma and she gave them a live tutorial on how to make homemade cinnamon churros. Seriously. How great was this picture moment!

Of course we realized after we got it all mixed up that we are totally out of oil and Crisco (as well as laundry soap, milk, paper towels, and a whole lot of other important things). I guess we'll have to finish the churros AFTER tomorrow's trip to the grocery store. Ooops!

LOVE.....

2011-08-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

One year adoption report...It's long, folks

2011-08-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

Exactly one year ago today, a very tired John Urban arrived at the airport with the two newest and littlest Urban children. In some ways the year has flown by, and in others it has dragged on forever. I remember going into this adoption thinking of how Ava had grown and thrived and progressed. I was sure---SO SURE--- that Joseph and Zoya's transition and progress would be just as wonderful. I tried to have realistic expectations, really I did.

Those darn expectations will get you every time! Prospective adoptive parents, take note!

The truth is that a year ago we thought that 'all' Zoya would require was daily medication (no big deal) and a couple of surgeries on her mouth (also no big deal). We thought she would be the 'easy' one and Joseph would be the 'hard' one. Haha. That is funny to me now. Instead I look back on the past year and in many ways feel like a failure. We have worked so hard but have made little progress, it seems sometimes. I will blog about some of the specific challenges in a later post, but for now.......

Here are some things that we are glad we didn't know a year ago:

-That the only pediatric infectious disease doctor in town had just passed away, and we would have to drive four hours one way for doctor's appointments for all care related to HIV.
-That there was no cleft palate specialty team in town to speak of, and we'd have to take Zoya out of state multiple times for doctor's appointments and procedures
-That we would have a total of five surgeries the first year, with several more to come, and that the cleft surgery would fail and would have to be repeated less than a year later
-That her lack of therapy and intervention from her early childhood would result in such a severe speech impediment that almost nobody could understand her (except for Hope, who is an excellent translator!)
-That we would be faced with the most extreme feeding challenges including gagging, nausea and vomiting....and that as a result I would see a side of myself that I wish I never would have seen. (Apparently this is common with mothers of refusal-to-eat children)
-That even with a feeding tube administering approximately 1,900 calories a day, Zoya would still not gain weight or thrive
-That we would end up seeing about 12 specialists, multiple times in the first year, and a year later still not understand how she ticks and why she has so much trouble with eating and gaining weight, among other issues
-And of course, the fact that she would be diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome, ADD/ADHD, and that we would see firsthand just how many ways a mother can damage her unborn child through substance abuse

Now the reason I say these are things I'm glad we didn't know is this:

I am almost certain that if I had been presented with this list of 'hard-to place' qualities:

*older child institutionalized since birth
*drug and alcohol exposed
*Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
*ADD/ADHD
*OCD
*HIV positive
*severe speech delays
*feeding tube
*failure to thrive
*cleft palate with multiple future surgeries required.......

.......Well I am pretty sure I would have said no thanks and told God that He should choose another family. I am glad He didn't let me know, because I am so glad to have my sweet Zoya. As crazy as our life has become managing ADD, communication, feeding and medical issues-she is STILL one of the sweetest and most wonderful little girls that I know! If you have met her I know you will attest to that. She is a blessing in our family and we are GLAD she is part of us.

These are some of the things we love about Zoya:

-She loves to smile and wave to complete strangers and shake their hands, even kiss their hands. I love seeing their facial expressions that mirror their melting hearts.
-The way she fake laughs when she is proud of an accomplishment
-The way that all you have to do is hand her a pair of old socks, and she will put them on her hands and start dusting the furniture (nice!)
-The way she loves to copy me, using the broom to sweep with, the Windex to wash windows with, and wet wipes to wipe little bottoms and toilet seats :)

-She randomly comes up to me and gives me the biggest bear hugs

-She has no reservations saying I love you to every person in our family

-She is clearly very secure here in our family and knows that she is loved.

-The fact that a year ago she was completely independent in everything, and now asks for my help

-The fact that every night without fail she asks me to sing Jesus Loves Me to her

-The way she tries and tries to communicate, and doesn't give up until she is finally understood

Last week when I dropped her off at church I could not understand what she was trying to say. I kept trying to leave as we were running late, and she kept saying wait wait! (Hope wasn't there to translate) Finally I understood she was saying "I love Mommy and I love Daddy". How sweet is that. She didn't want me to leave until I knew that. Just tonight when I put some fresh sheets on her bed (we have to change her sheets daily because of the nightly tube feeding), she raised her hands up in the air, TOTALLY thrilled and said, "Yay, God!" :) I could go on and on about her sweetness, but there are just a couple of recent examples.

Joseph has been the 'easy' one after all. ALL of his medical tests have come back normal, even the ear problem turned out not to be a problem at all, other than needing ear tubes. I thank the Lord that Joseph has been so healthy because I'm not sure how much more our family could have handled in the medical department. And just like Zoya, he is a precious member of our family. My favorite thing about Joseph is his simple joy to be alive. He is pretty much content with anything (as long as his tummy is full.) :)

Here are some of the things we also love about Joseph:
1. The way he tries so hard to say 'sausage' because his dad won't give him a piece until he makes some sort of SOUND requesting it
2. The way his eyes light up when you say 'motorcycle'........ or 'school bus'....or 'water hose'
3. The way he tries so hard to be loving to the cat but ends up holding it upside down while he kisses it or squeezing it too tight in the process (Yeah, the cat is not too fond of Joseph lol)
4. Seeing the sheer joy on his face at the library or grocery store when the receipt starts to come out of the little machine, and the sheer disappointment when the receipt ends up being super short because we only bought one or two items. Hilarious. If you want to be entertained, come with me to the store for just two items. Better yet maybe I'll video tape it for you someday. :)
5. The way he squeals with excitement and runs to get his shoes when we tell him it's time to go to church or school
6.The way that he starts strumming an invisible guitar and bobbing his head at the sound of any beat
7.The fact that he would rather be in anybody's bed but his own
8. The fact that I can put all the leftover scraps in his dish, and he won't mind a bit. In fact he gives me the thumbs up as if to say, 'This is an awesome meal, Mom"
9. Watching his chubby little fingers work so hard as he tries so desperately to tie his own shoes
10. The way he puckers his lips and points to his cheek, indicating he wants me to bend down so he can kiss me

So there you have it, the last 12 months with our newest family members, in a nutshell.

Summer recap

2011-08-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

I love my brother and sister-in-law's motto: "Work hard-Play hard."

We have been doing a whole lot of both this summer. Here are a few of the highlights.

*By the way, some of you have asked my why I've been so scarce this summer. Let me tell you it is not because there haven't been plenty of things to blog about it. I haven't been blogging for several reasons:
1. Picasa is not my friend right now.
2. My kids hog my computer all the time.
3. Most days when I get a free minute I have opted to read some great books instead of getting on the computer. Last night finished Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass. Are you proud of me Dad?
4. Homeschool planning.
5. House projects.
6. Potty training.
7. Child disciplining. As my grandma always said, "Parenting ain't for sissies!" Isn't that the truth!

Anyway......back to the photos. Here are a few of my favorite photos from Simeon's trip to the jungles of Mexico. I am thankful my parents took these because I know he will appreciate them someday. I know each of these photos have some big historical significance. You'll have to ask Simeon to tell you all about each one.

I believe this is a soccer field, where the winners of the games were honored by being sacrificed to the gods.

Liesel is spending the lasts two weeks of her summer in Minnesota with my brother and family. I talked to her last night and she said she is only a 'little bit' homesick and is having a really fun time. Who wouldn't...they have taken her tubing, waterskiing, picnicking, out for sushi, and roller coasting riding at the Mall of America. I won't be surprised if she never wants to come back home!

Here is from Jude's fishing trip with his dad. We enjoyed the fruits of their labor, yummy trout (Thanks Alice for the recipe!)

We have been ripping up carpet...

Painting bedrooms......

Remodeling the kitchen....

Hanging around in our swimsuits...

Growing some yummy squash, watermelon, okra, onions, and basil. Nothing else did very well, I suppose from the extreme heat.

Joseph is John's BEST garden helper! Seriously!

Right after I snapped this photo I got sprayed, and decided never again will I use an $800 camera to take a close up photo of Joseph and a water hose!

The girls have been doing lots of crafts (and usually right afterwards Joseph rips them into shreds.

With 3 six year olds and a seven year old in the house, we have had frequent visits from the tooth fairy. I always love when they lose their bottom teeth, they still look so cute and little. But something about my kids losing their top teeth always makes me sad. Once they start losing their top teeth, it seems like the attitudes start kicking in, and they no longer climb in bed with me in the mornings to snuggle, no longer crawl on my lap to tell me they love me for no particular reason. Why is that? I called my sister and cried about this. Adult teeth mean adulthood is approaching, and that means they will soon be gone. Am I overanalyzing this? LOL My sister graciously reminded me that at least two kids will always be around, keeping me from truly having to experience Empty Nest Syndrome. ha. Thanks for that!

But they look so cute and innocent, don't they?

2011-07-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

What we've been doing.....

2011-07-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a very busy summer. Here is a list of a few of the highlights of the last month. (Wow, has it really been over a month since I last logged onto this blog? What a slacker I am!)

-Simeon has been with my parents and their church youth group in Mexico for the last several weeks. As I type, they are traveling through the rainforests of the Yucatan Peninsula, setting up tents and camping each night. Today they explored ancient Mayan ruins after waking up to the sound of howler monkeys in the jungle. I think it's safe to say it will be an unforgettable summer. I hope he is taking pictures like I instructed him to!

-Hope and Zoya spent a week and a half in New Mexico with their Aunt Janell and Uncle Ken. They played school with Aunt Janell, who is a kindergarten teacher, and swam every day. They had so much fun they didn't want to come home.

-Jude went on a weekend camping/rafting/fishing trip with John. They brought back lots of fish, which I plan to cook up for dinner tomorrow night. Anyone have a good trout recipe?

-Liesel didn't get to do anything too exciting (her big trip was to Ukraine last summer), but we did have a couple of fun girls nights here at the house while the guys were gone, and after the little ones had gone to bed. (She is a lot of fun and I enjoy hanging out with her.)

-I turned 40. My sweet sister Marlita planned a nice little girls night with our friends Marcie and Melissa. We had a great time staying up really late and laughing really hard. Girls' nights are the best therapy aren't they?

-We ripped out a portion of our kitchen and installed a new island with a sink and a bar area which seats up to 4 kids (yay!)...pictures coming soon.

-I transformed the black kitchen cabinets into cream colored ones, the bottom cabinets anyway. It really lightened things up a lot. One day a man at the library commented that he could tell I had been painting because the paint on my arms matched the paint in Joseph's hair. Yes, it was a very interesting project with Joseph around.

-We ripped up the remaining carpet in the house, on the stairs and in the upstairs bedrooms, and are working on refinishing the wood that was underneath. I am so pleased to have no carpet in my house. I don't think carpet was made for big families that live on a farm!

-John's niece, Camille, came for a weekend visit from Albuquerque, and introduced us to her boyfriend, Ben......We approve. They are perfect for each other.

-Joseph had ear tube surgery....Wish I would have thought to schedule it in the winter when we didn't have to keep him out of the swimming pool!

-Joseph is POTTY TRAINED....Woo hoo! Huge accomplishment!

-Zoya had a GI scope, which was normal, and is scheduled for a swallow study and echocardiogram. We hope to find some indication of what is causing her to have difficulty swallowing.

-I've been spending some time researching and organizing and planning our next school year. We are enrolled back in Classical Conversations and are looking forward to a fun year with our friends.

-And, as always, we are staying busy with therapy, summer school (Ava), swimming, and of course doctor's appointments...

...............................................................................................................................................................
We've had a few weird challenges this summer. Challenges like ponies escaping the fence and pooping on our porch.... Luke the dog eating the chickens, down to the last one. Zoya continually unplugging her tube feeding tube in the middle of the night, using the bathroom, and then not knowing how to plug herself back in, leaking Pediasure all over the bed and floor.

Those kinds of challenges.

One of the weird challenges is a scab on Ava's head that will not go away. Every morning Joseph and Ava wake up at the crack of dawn and start picking at each other's scabs. Seriously, this scab on her head is huge now, I can't keep any kind of bandaid on it, and it will not heal. I don't know what to do with it! I started cracking up at a conversation John and I were having the other day. In problem solving he was contemplating building a wall in their bedroom to separate them. A wall. With boards and sheet rock and paint. All because of a scab.

I really didn't want to add another house project, so we settled for a $200 camera in their room instead. It should arrive by UPS soon. Hopefully from now on we'll be able to catch them before they start picking at each other and ~~taking their diapers off.~~ I think it was $200 well spent. Should I post some of the videos of them on here? hehe.

Tonight after dinner I told everyone I would happily do all their kitchen jobs tonight, if they will put the little ones to bed...do the tube feedings and the diapers and the dressing changes and the potty time and teeth....and wash all of the little chubby hands, and hang all of the little clean clothes up in the closets. I have been so exhausted having all these little tornadoes home all day, battling the little fingers that are constantly reaching and grabbing everything in sight, leaving messes everywhere they go. Not a day goes by lately that I don't look at my calendar and count down the days until school starts again. ha.

John said that Reece's Rainbow needs to have a "Reality Page" on their website for all their prospective adoptive parents, including a picture of me with my hair in a messy ponytail, bags under my eyes, and wearing my favorite Buddy Walk t-shirt. ha. Maybe I should post a link to the hidden camera video in Joseph and Ava's room too. :)

Summer!

2011-06-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy and fun first few weeks of summer!

My brother and his wife gave Simeon this dirt bike as a gift while they were here over Memorial Day Weekend. To say he was excited about it would be the understatement of the year. (Thanks Uncle Jason and Aunt Lisa!)

What I love best about it is how productive it has made him around the house..........

"Mom, can I ride my dirt bike?"........

........"Of course, Simeon, as soon as you fold and put away the laundry, empty the dishwasher, and sweep the kitchen." :)

Our neighbor saw him riding the other day, ran out and asked him what size shoes he wore, then ran back in the house with a free pair of size 10 1/2 riding boots. :) (Yes my 13 year old wears a size 10 1/2 shoe! Yikes.)

Every morning Liesel gets up and takes care of the family pets...the guinea pig who sleeps in her room and squeaks every morning at 3:00, the three chickens in the barn (Luke ate the other seven), the two dogs, the pony (T.C. the horse went back to its previous owner) and the newest addition, Mr. Bean the kitten. I am not worried about any creature around here suffering from lack of food or attention, that is for sure. Jack, a miniature appaloosa pony, has gone from stubborn and mean to sweet and loving, all because "his girl"has worked with him and given him so much love and affection every day. I love watching her interact with the animals; it gives me an idea of what kind of mama she will be, and how secure and loved my grandchildren will be. :)

Jude has had a best friend since he was about two years old. We used to be next door neighbors. I love that they are still great buddies even though we have both moved about 30 miles away from each other. I hope they will always be friends, they will have lots of stories to reminisce about.

What has been keeping me the busiest this summer? Potty training! My goodness! Why did nobody tell me how difficult it was to potty train children with Down Syndrome? I have been dealing with diapers and potty training for the past 13 years, and something tells me there is no end in sight, at least any time soon! Joseph is really really close, thanks to the reward of swimming and motorcycle rides, but Ava has a ways to go, I'm afraid. :(

Here they giving each other knuckles after using the bathroom. haha. So cute.

Hope and Zoya like to have "picnics" of juices and popsicles in the fort in between swimming.

So as you can see, it's been super busy around here, but we are having a great summer! Hope you are too!

My Kindergarten Graduates....(Prepare to Smile)

2011-05-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day Weekend

2011-05-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. My brother and his family came down from Minnesota, my parents were here from Mexico, and of course my sister and brother who are local were here as well. Opa and Oma are still here for a couple of more days. By the way they did a great job watching the kids while we were gone. My mom is the most efficient and capable person I know, and my dad was really helpful too. Thanks again Mom and Dad for being wonderful grandparents to my kids!

This is my new niece, Carly. She was pretty much the star of the show this weekend. Can you blame anyone?

This was fun. My 96 year old Grandma joined us from her nursing home for the celebration. She ended up having a sleepover with us. All the kids greeted her with waving balloons at the end of the driveway. Grandma said she felt like she was being welcomed into heaven. :)

My brother in law Juan is a proud new daddy

Happy 96th Birthday, Nanny.

My brother Joel with my dad and grandma

Joseph loves Carly..

Ava was mesmerized....

My dining room table seated 27 people thanks to my Christmas benches!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Mr. Bean, the kitten

2011-05-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

We are all loving having a baby in the house! A baby kitten that is!
We finally agreed on a name for him; Mr. Bean.

A couple of weeks ago, our babysitter Emma (pictured below---is it obvious how popular she is around here!), who works in a vet office, sent me a text. She said a 2 week old (or so) motherless kitten had been brought in, and would we want him? Of course I'm always a sucker for abandoned kids and stray animals, and John said yes. Sooo.....

Here he is, Mr. Bean....Isn't he cute? He has a little chip missing from his ear. Who knows why. (I wanted to name him "Chip" but nobody else thought it was as clever as I did.)

So far he is getting along just fine. We have had to bottle feed him-Who knew they made teeny tiny little bottles--He is now lapping up milk from a saucer and eating solid foods. I had no idea how quickly cats pick up on litter box training! What a smart little cookie!

The dogs are warming up too. Luke seems to think he is the mama. Yesterday he licked him until he was sopping wet. So cute.

Yes, we are loving having a kitten in the house....

Try it out here: http://picasa.google.com/

Boy humor

2011-05-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

I love boy humor!

The kids had end of year testing. After Jude was finished with his test and was waiting for everyone else to finish, he drew this picture....Crack me up.

"Battery DO NOT EAT"

1 Day later....

Mr. Smile: "Why did I eat that battery?".
(....X-Ray)

Doctor: "Sorry, Sir but I need to put you to sleep"
Mr. Smile: "I can do that myself". (as in go to bed)
Doctor: "No, Sir, you know....." (put to sleep as in euthanize)

2011-05-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

Here I sit in a beautiful resort in Orlando. My feet couldn't make it another day after walking for four days all around Epcot, Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Animal Kingdom. John took the kids to Blizzard Beach this morning to go down some steep water slides and cool off from this humid Florida heat. What a wonderful time we are having!

We enjoyed visiting the birth place and childhood home of Hellen Keller in AL and getting our picture taken next to the famous well where she learned that everything has a name. Her first word in sign language: 'water'. We enjoyed seeing the dining room table where she had her temper tantrums before she learned to communicate, and the school room where Annie Sullivan dedicated her life to teaching her.

We stopped in Andersonville, GA, and toured the Confederate Prisoner of War Camp used during the Civil War. It was hard to imagine the suffering that was experienced there....for months, thousands of Union soldiers went without clean water, shelter, and even food. It was an unforgettable experience. We all came away from that place with a deep gratitude for what our service men, both past and present, have sacrificed for the sake of our country.

St. Augustine was beautiful. We got there too late to tour the castle but got some great photos walking around the outside. We signed up for a night tour, but soon learned that it was a haunted tour. Our tour guide started taking us around the city looking for orbs, spirits and ghosts. She told us of a little girl who was murdered 4oo years ago who can still be seen around town today, waving to welcome visitors. Hope's eyes got so big, and she immediately started looking for that little girl. My husband embarrassed us all by pointing towards a little girl in the distance and saying, "There she is!" Our tour guide didn't think he was very funny, I don't think. She told us that at night the cemetery comes alive with the spirit of one of the city's first leaders. He comes in the form of a green orb. Take a photo with flash, and see if you can see him, she said. If you can't see it now, wait until you download it onto your computer and you will see it. John leaned over to me and the kids and said, "Let's make like ghosts and disappear--what do you say?" So while our tour guide wasn't looking, we did! .....Awwwkkkwaaard. The kids found this so funny, and we later joked that we should go back through town on our way back and reappear, at the same point of the tour (the cemetery), wearing the same clothes as the night we all disappeared. That would sure be a ghost story to talk about for sure!

Disneyworld is truly the most amazing place I have ever seen. It is mind boggling to think of all the creativity, ingenuity, brains, organization, engineering......and of course money.....that makes this place work. Of course the rides and attractions are fabulous, but what interests me is how efficient everything is, and how clean. We did a little experiment with the kids. We sat on a shaded bench in the busiest and hottest part of the day, and did nothing but watch people walk by. See who are the happiest people here, John said. Lo and behold it was not the children with cotton candy and balloons, but the ones who were serving others. We watched a smiling janitor greeting everyone across his path. We watched a group of handicapped people with their caretakers. They were sure having a good time. At the same time we saw several families arguing, and children complaining....little kids throwing temper tantrums. It did not exactly seem like we were in happiest place on earth at times, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I have no pictures to share (yet), and I didn't intend to blog until I got back, but I spent two hours down at the pool, and came back to read in a quiet room only to find out my books are in the van, parked at Blizzard Beach. A mother of seven can only stand so much peace, quiet, and isolation, you know. So while I am waiting for four more hours for my family to get back, I thought I would post a little vacation update.

Meanwhile, it seems the kids back home are doing great with Opa and Oma (also thanks to a little help from Emma and Teri). My only regret is missing out on Ava's graduation from the Little Light House last night. On the other hand, space was limited, so I'm glad my parents got to experience it in our place. And thankfully we have Youtube and digital photos and Skype, so in a way we experienced it too.

I loved my dad's facebook post from last night: "Not a dry eye in the crowd, 19 graduates, some blind, some severely handicapped, all achievers, I love myself when I find myself in the company of stragglers, overcomers and fighters. Here is my granddaughter, a night of GREAT achievement."

Enjoy this video of nineteen great kindergartners marching to Pomp and Circumstance. And try not to cry like I did when Ava waves to her grandparents. (She comes in at the end). Love my sweet girl.
.

Going to Disneyworld....

2011-05-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

When we made the decision to adopt our sixth (Joseph) and potentially seventh (Zoya) children, I vividly remember sitting down with and explaining to our children that adopting more special needs children meant sacrificing certain things, like sports activities, eating out, and fun vacations like Disneyworld. We wanted to make sure everyone was on board before we took the plunge. I was so proud when they all unanimously picked adoption over Disneyworld!

Eight months later, I want to say I am extremely proud of my children for embracing and loving three new siblings. There have been unexpected challenges, and some trying times these past few months. For the most part the kids have been patient and understanding. I have spent many, many hours talking to and driving to and from doctor's offices, pharmacies. hospitals. I have spent countless hours fighting insurance battles, ordering medical supplies, and running up to the school to resolve behavior issues or forgotten lunch boxes. Many homeschooling days went out the window when we had to take someone to urgent care or to an emergency visit to Little Rock. My kids have given up social engagements and free time on more than a few occasions to help out with the little ones. And really, they have all been pretty great about it all.

So when my parents emailed a couple of months ago, and said they wanted to come up for a week or two to watch Ava, Joseph and Zoya, we did not refuse. They said they had spent time bonding with the other four while we were in Ukraine adopting J and Z, and now they wanted to bond with the three little ones while the rest of us took a little partial-family getaway. How could we say no!

Free childcare for the little ones by loving grandparents, coupled with a free time share in Orlando given to us by sweet friends.....

Where else would we go but the Most Magical Place on Earth...

We are going to Disneyworld after all!

(Of course I keep feeling a bit of Mom-guilt over not taking the whole family, but then I visualize the sensory overload behaviors, the sunburned bald head, the pants-wetting, the diaper changing, and I realize they will have way more fun with Opa and Oma, swimming in the baby pool at home anyway. I'm sure we'll be back someday when they can all appreciate and enjoy it.)

My dad has planned out our whole trip because that is what my dad does best. He's planned all kinds of cool and educational things along the way: Eating with old friends, seeing the birth place of Hellen Keller, visiting the famous Civil War POW camp in Andersonville, GA, seeing alligators, and experiencing the ancient Spanish city of St. Augustine, Fl.

Meanwhile, while we are galavanting all over America, my parents will be holding down the fort, changing diapers, toting children to school, giving tube feedings, administering medicine, collecting poop samples, and even caring for baby chicks and bottle feeding this little abandoned sweetie that was just given to us after losing our cat several weeks ago. They said they are up for the challenge. What awesome grandparents!

Mom and Dad, and Frikkie and Tina, we are so grateful and humbled by your kindness and generosity to our family. The kids can hardly wait to experience Disneyworld for the first time! I guess I should be honest and say I'm pretty excited too! Thank you for making it possible!

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

I hope your Mother's Day was wonderful!

I woke up to a basket of freshly-picked wildflowers, and this little guy wishing me a Happy Mother's Day!

And then a delicious John Urban style breakfast complete with fresh strawberries. Yum!

Hope drew me a Mother's Day message on the board.

John got some honey-do's marked off my ~~nag list~~ to-do list, we called all the Grandmas, ordered pizza, played in the sprinkler, went to church.

....Poor Joseph came down with a fever of 105 by afternoon (glad we kept him in big service with us this morning!) He was absolutely miserable until we could get his fever down. Then he looked up at me, patted the pillow for me to lay down with him, then gave me the biggest kiss as if to say thank you for making me feel better!

Yep, I am pretty sure he is enjoying having a Mama!

Happy Mother's Day everybody!

Superman was Adopted...t-shirts for sale

2011-05-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

A fellow blogging/adoption family is in the process of adopting a little boy with a heart defect. As you know, adoption is not cheap (international OR domestic). This family is selling these way-cool t-shirts as a creative way to raise the adoption expenses.

How cute is that???? You NEED one or two or three of these!

The t-shirts come in blue, red, black and pink, and are only available for the next ten days. So Hurry!!

These would make great gifts!

Please consider helping Camden come home by visiting his future mommy and daddy's blog. You can leave a comment on the Ritzmann's blog, or purchase via PayPal straight from the right sidebar on their blog. (Whether you order a t-shirt or not, you should really take a look at their gorgeous family, and enter to win an Amazon gift card while you are at it!)

Click here to visit the Ritzmann's blog. Please note when ordering that the shirts tend to run small.

Also, I wanted to direct you to another blog......This woman is hosting a quilt auction to benefit her friend's adoption. Anybody who has adopted knows how precious it is when friends chip in to help out. I remember people donating items to our garage sale, and what a blessing it was to know we weren't having to do it all alone. Please go visit Mindy's blog! Those are some beautiful quilts made with lots of love!

2011-04-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

In the last few weeks:

-The cat has disappeared
-I ran over the dog
-We had 3 surgeries and 2 hospitalizations (if you include the dog)
-We went out of state twice
-Joseph had staples in his scalp
-Joseph had the heimlich maneuver performed on him at school
-Several people in our family have been treated for strep throat
-We got a french drain around our house
-I sent two kids to a state level music competition
-We had our last soccer game
-I decided to homeschool one more child next year
-We concluded this year's homeschool group

-We found out we are in the process of getting a new cousin, pictured below.....
:))))))))))))))))

Luke the dog is still around and doing just fine. He was supposed to be an outside dog, but well. You know....

Here is the french in the process of being laid. I think Simeon and Joseph have discovered their calling in life.

After watching the workers for two days, Zoya became pretty attached to them and it was hard for her to see them go. She gave them big hugs, and two kisses on each cheek. Then she kissed their hands. ha

It is so interesting to watch her around people. She will go up to anybody, I mean ANYBODY, and hug them....grocery store clerks, strangers and church, random kids at school. In the world of adoption and attachment, this is considered a bad thing, but I personally love how loving she is. She really knows how to make somebody's day!

The girls like to sit up on Daddy's truck and watch him work in the yard. I thought they were so cute I had to take their picture.

John reminds me more and more of my Grandpa all the time and I LOVE it. He planted a garden in the back and is teaching our kids how to take care of it.

This photo represents the significant progress we have made with Joseph, and I just had to stop and take note, to document how far we have come. Do you remember there was a time when we never would have allowed him near a stack of plates, a full cup of ice water, and a table set with food? He has settled down so much both at home and at school, and has really become such a pleasant and sweet and obedient (for the most part) little boy. Miracles DO happen!

How sweet is this....Zoya was praying for Joseph and Ava the other night, tucking them in bed, and giving them both kisses. She even sang a little lullaby to Joseph. What a blessed mama I am!

2011-04-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

Just had to share this little video I took while I was making dinner tonight. You can hear Joseph and Ava in the background. They like to shake their fingers at each other and say 'NO' for no apparent reason. ha. Zoya and Hope get along pretty well (especially considering they are only four months apart). In fact, Hope told me recently that Zoya is her best friend. :)

Anyway, this wasn't a particularly earth-shattering, funny, or unusual moment, but I just thought it was sweet to see my little girls dancing on the trampoline together, while Joseph and Ava, who are also best buds, scolded each other in the background. And then the dog who is alive and healthy goes strolling by. I was just thinking how much I loved my life, and I had to get up and capture the moment. The loud noise is the beans boiling and the chicken grilling I guess.

I'm glad my 9 year old boy taught me how to use the video camera function on my phone, and how to post it on Youtube. ha. You'll probably be seeing a lot more of these videos now that my kids are teaching me to be more technology savvy.

2011-04-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday, rather than dressing up and going to church and getting cute family pictures taken afterwards, John and I spent the day in bed with fevers, coughs and sore throats, while the kids watched TV and fended for themselves. We were out of groceries, and John, feeling better at one point, went to pick up some of the essentials. The store we normally go to was closed for Easter Sunday, so he was on his way empty handed. I sent him a text reminding him that we hadn't done anything for the kids for Easter, and could he please pick up a couple of Easter baskets for the little ones, and some things for dying eggs. So he stopped at Dollar General and picked up dye but no eggs. ha. Thankfully there were still 5 left in the carton, not enough for everybody to dye even one egg, but at least the older kids didn't feel like they needed one. John and I were feeling too tired to hide eggs but the kids had their own little Easter party while we tried to get over our misery. I have taken two rounds of antibiotics in the last month or so for strep throat, and I'm pretty sure it's back.

Today, after I dropped Simeon off with a friend who was taking him to a birthday party, I went to pick up Ava who rides home with a friend who we carpool with. While I waited, I was trying to make some calls to the geneticist's office, where I was supposed to take Zoya an hour later. I was wanting to see if they or another doctor in the office could run a quick strep test on me so I could kind of kill two birds with one stone. All you moms know how hard it is to be sick when you're trying to run a home! There is no time for mom appointments! Might as well try to be seen along with your kids. I kept getting the runaround, or wrong numbers, or disconnection. So there I was in my car, having a pity party over all of Zoya's recent setbacks, and how miserable I felt, and I started crying right there in my car while I waited. Soon my friend arrived and noticed my red puffy eyes. She was understanding and sympathetic, although I just hate to cry in front of other people.

As if I could have felt any worse, five minutes later, I pulled into my driveway and was greeted by the dogs, as usual. They ALWAYS run up to the van to greet me, and they always get out of my way before I pull into the driveway. Well today Nellie did not move out of the way. I heard a loud yelp and I slammed on my brakes. My heart was pounding: I was certain that I was going to find my beloved dog dead under my van. Lo and behold she was bloody, shaking, but not dead. I had to physically pick her up, all 64 pounds of her, and put her in the van. I took some of the kids with me and left others at home and we rushed her to the vet. It appears that I would have completely run over her head if it were not for the thick layer of gravel that was just laid down our driveway a couple of weekends ago. Instead she was able to pull free just before the tire totally crushed her. :(((

Of course we did not make it to Zoya's geneticist follow up appointment that I was on my way to...the one that we've been waiting weeks for.

As you can imagine, I feel really horrible about this, but I am relieved to report though that Nellie is going to be fine. She is scraped up, swollen, has two broken teeth which will need to be extracted and a swollen jaw.....but she is alive. And her tail is wagging. I was just telling John two nights ago what a great dog she has been, and how I am not looking forward to losing her someday. I am so thankful that today wasn't that day.

I love that I am blessed to know so many good-hearted people. Even before she knew about the dog incident, one friend emailed a gift certificate to Applebees with a note that said:

No sick Mama needs to be in the kitchen. You deserve a break. So please accept this gift as my way to make your burden lighter. <3
Galations 6:2

Another brought over strawberry shortcake. We enjoyed the loveliest dinner and dessert at home tonight, and I didn't even have to cook. It was so nice and it really made my day.

So all is well. I am thankful for so many things.....family, faith, health, good friends, but tonight mostly that our sweet Nellie is going to be OK. :)

And hopefully she's learned her lesson about cars.

2011-04-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

So....
After I sent a second picture to the cleft palate surgery nurse, I got a call at 8:30 on Friday morning, saying the surgeon wanted us to come in ASAP. Another trip to Little Rock, and another surgery Friday afternoon. The surgeon explained that some of her palate had disappeared. She had to reinforce the stitches that were still remaining but she was not able to repair the hole until the tissue is allowed to heal. She (Dr. Buckmiller) thinks that Zoya must be sucking on her tongue at night while she sleeps, since the hands that she normally sucks on are restrained. The suction effect must have pulled out the stitches. So what this means is that half of the hole in her palate....is back. I can't tell you how depressing that is just to type out. Poor girl has had so many setbacks. The doctor explained that Zoya does not have much going for her in the self-healing department: a poor nutritional status, low immune status, her age, her activity level. She says while it is rare for a cleft to come undone like that, Zoya would have been at risk and so it was no huge surprise, I guess.

So one surgery has basically turned into three surgeries. We will have to start all over again once the tissue heals itself, in six or eight months. Meanwhile we keep doing what we're doing, giving her liquids only, and keeping hands and objects out of her mouth. I did ask about the retainer, which one person commented about. The surgeon said they don't typically use the retainers because it traps infection. She was willing to consider it, but the orthodontic surgeon was out (Good Friday) as were other doctors whose opinion would have come in handy. I think it might be a good idea for the next surgery so I will definitely bring it up again.

We have a follow up in Little Rock next week. I am soooo thankful to our wonderful friends, the Lorraines, who have opened their home up to us over and over again. It came in real handy on Friday night when we were discharged late. I have not been sleeping well since I'm up multiple times every night making sure Zoya hasn't gotten out of her restraints, or gotten twisted up in her tube feeding tube. So I was so grateful to be able to stay with the Lorraines. It's fun to reminisce about our time together in Ukraine while we were adopting Joseph and Zoya, and they were adopting Oksana.

Zoya update

2011-04-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

Well it's been 9 days since Zoya had her surgery and I wanted to give a little update.

First of all, I have learned a lot about Zoya in the process of having to keep arm restraints on her at all times. I guess I shouldn't say I have 'learned' a lot, because I already knew these things about her, but her personality traits have become even more evident.

Zoya is independent. She is resilient. She is tender hearted, and she is a pleaser. It has been an incredibly challenging 9 days for me, her mother. And it has been incredibly challenging for her. (And goodness, we have another 11 to go!) Arm restraints are teaching Zoya what a mother is for. It has been an incredible bonding experience for us, because there are certain things that you just can't do, no matter how independent you are. She knows she is not supposed to put things in her mouth for these next few weeks , and I am so unbelievably proud of her for trying so hard. Last time I blogged, I told you she can get out of the restraints with little effort. However, it has not been in an attempt to break the rules about hand sucking or eating. Instead she keeps taking off the restraints to blow her nose, or to pull herself up on a swing set, scratch an itch, or change her clothes. She just doesn't seem to understand that she can ask me for help. She even removes the restraints so she can disconnect herself from the feeding pump in the morning.

We have been playing a game, and it's called Pretend You are My Baby. I am the mom, and she is my baby, and I have to take care of her for awhile until she can get her arms back. Then she got the idea that SHE wanted to be the mom, and that *I* would be the baby. So now our bedtime ritual includes me laying on her bed with her while she rocks me and sings me lullabies. ha. What a little mama she is.

Anyway, all of that said, as hard as we have tried, and as compliant as I think we've been with keeping things out of her mouth, it appears that the stitches in her palate came out prematurely, and as of tonight a small hole in her palate is back. I emailed the nurse a picture of it, and she says it does not look good and it looks like we're going to have to do this all over again in a few months.

I don't think she has been sucking on her hand-although I don't know for sure since she has gotten the restraints off in her sleep once or twice. However, any snoring or sucking on her tongue, which she does both, causes pressure on the sutures. I think that is what did it. So, this is not what we wanted to hear obviously, but we did know it was a risk, especially with her being the age that she is. We will have a follow up appointment next week so we should know more after that. Meanwhile we keep doing what we're doing until we can get back to the doctor.

*On an unrelated but more positive note, our insurance company has finally agreed to pay for the Pediasure. So to those of you who have clipped coupons or sent us your extra cases..Thank you! You have gotten us through a tight spot and now it looks like we're set from now on.

My kitchen...

2011-04-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

When we moved into this house three years ago, we loved everything about it, except I knew that the kitchen would probably drive me crazy. I didn't mind the size of it at all but the shape and layout was clearly not well-planned.

Look at this design. Who would put the sink, dishwasher, pantry and refrigerator all in one corner? Do you notice the sink has no counterspace to the left of it? Which means there is nowhere to put the dirty dishes and pots and pans. Everything ends up piled in the sink all the time. The 'bar' area isn't a bar area at all. There is no space for anything but a couple of candles up there! Certainly nobody can actually eat there!

So now that we are a family of 9 this kitchen has gotten really crazy. You can imagine how many times a day there are two or three people over in that corner: One opening the fridge, one in the pantry, and one at the sink. When I am cooking I am usually tripping over little ones. I would love to have a bar area where they could watch or help out without getting under my feet or in the way of my cabinets. All my counter space is opposite of the sink....which means that all my messes; the pancake mix, the milkshakes, the cookie dough, gets splattered on the tiles and drips down my black cabinets and on the floor on the way to the sink. Although I love black paint, it is the worst color for kitchen cabinets (in my opinion)...could there be a worse color to show every little drop of milk and greasy fingerprint?

This is the view from the front door. Do you see the little desk space? At one point we had a computer there, but little hands (Ava and Joseph) were constantly banging, and pulling cords, and drinks would spill. Now it is just wasted space used to accumulate our junk.

Anyway, we found a cabinet maker, and are planning to rip out the sink and replace it with an island with actual seating around the sink. Eventually we might want to do something with that desk space to make it more useful, but don't really want to have to re-do the entire kitchen in the process, if we can help it. What do you think? Just wondering if anyone with a big family (or not) has advice about practical kitchen remodeling on a budget.

Right now we just have formica countertops which I don't mind at all. I also wouldn't mind upgrading to something a little more long term, quality, if the price is right. Just curious what features you love or hate about your kitchen. What would you do? (Should I just suck it up? ha)

By the way, on the other side of the kitchen is a hall, 3 bedrooms, and a bathroom. We have considered knocking out the hall to expand the kitchen but that is way out of our budget. Maybe when we win the lottery! :)

Happy birthday Liesel

2011-04-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

Well I found the cord, and it was tucked behind the computer all along! So now it's time to catch up on photos. First and foremost, Liesel's birthday....

Ooops. We only had two candles. Jude had the idea to make them into two ones, for 'eleven'. Clever boy.

Her daddy gave her her very own flower garden to plant. Liesel and her cousin had fun planting them on their birthday sleepover. Incidentally don't you remember how much fun sleepovers are for 11 year old girls? It's fun to have cousins close.

We celebrated with a girls night out. Two cousins and two aunts. We went out for Liesel's favorite, sushi (even though she had already eaten sushi with her dad at lunchtime).

Next we went to Starbucks. While the moms enjoyed caramel macchiatos, the girls enjoyed strawberry frappucinos. Yum! We played Headbanz....."Everybody knows but you". You have to guess the word on your head by asking yes and no questions about it.

Lots of laughs were had, especially when Aunt Marlita had "toilet paper" on her forehead.

I am so proud of my girl. I can't believe how fast she is growing up. Happy Birthday, Liesel!

Cleft palate repaired

2011-04-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

Zoya's cleft palate repair was a success, and we are so grateful for the wonderful care from the wonderful people at Arkansas Children's Hospital! She and I returned home yesterday afternoon. She is feeling so good it is hard to believe she just had mouth surgery yesterday. Wow.

Here are a couple of photos from the hospital:

The Child Life social worker showed her pictures of children in surgery and post surgery and gave her ECG monitor stickers to play with. How clever. Zoya had been going around the waiting room that morning showing all the people her cleft palate, and telling them in her own way that she was going to get it repaired today. :) So I think she was already somewhat prepared, but it was nice to have this anyway.

Charlie, the nurse anesthetist (Loved him!) asked her what kind of goofy gas she wanted to smell before she went to sleep. She picked bubble gum. Here Charlie is explaining that after she smells the bubble gum, she will get very sleepy and then it will begin to smell like dirty socks but not to worry because she would be asleep by then. ha. As you can see Zoya was absolutely mesmerized by Charlie. He was so, so fun.

Surgery took about three hours but all went just as planned and we went home the next morning. The hole is now totally repaired and we will be going back in a year or two for another nasal surgery and possibly a re-do of the lip.

For the next three weeks, she can't have anything in her mouth other than liquids through a cup (not a straw, not a sippy cup). She can't blow her nose or cough, or brush her top teeth. Because she sucks her hand, and because she tends to put objects in her mouth, we had no choice but to put her in arm restraints for the next 3 weeks. Ugh. Can we say stressful.

The night before we left the hospital I kept dreaming she was eating carrot sticks, tortilla chips. I even dreamed she had a bicycle hook in her mouth. LOL. Well would you believe the minute we walked in the door one of the kids was eating chips and offered her one. Oh dear. Thankfully another kid caught it in time. Sigh.

Meanwhile I have experimented and experimented with these arm no-no's using Velcro, safety pins. tights, jackets. Every time I would come up with a new plan she would say, "Good idea, Mom!", very enthusiastically, right before she proceeded to get out of it. :)

Let's just say for having developmental and motor delays, the girl sure can maneuver her way out of a straight jacket!

So today I texted John this picture showing him that I had FINALLY found the solution! Jacket underneath (to prevent arm rashes), turned backwards (so she can't unbutton it), sleeves folded up over the ends (so she can't pull the velcro off), and safety pinned to the shoulder for extra security.

Wasn't I smart?

Nope!!

About one hour later she came out of her room holding this dress that she wanted me to help her put on. The jacket was crumpled up on the bed STILL BUTTONED. The Velcro strap behind her neck was removed. So she managed to get the whole thing off and then put the restraints back on her arms thinking I wouldn't notice. haha. I noticed all right!

Don't you think it's going to be an interesting three weeks?

Zoya's big day

2011-04-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

To read more about Archie and his story, and to see the winners of the raffle, visit Bethany's blog.

By the way, I have met Bethany's kids in real life and YES they really are as gorgeous as they appear in pictures. :)

I am way behind in family updates, photos, even a birthday celebration (Liesel) that I need to blog about. One slight problem: The little cord thingy that transfers pictures from the camera to the computer is missing, and it is very difficult for me to blog without photos. So the photos and updates will have to wait.

Meanwhile....

Please pray, as tomorrow is Zoya's big surgery day. I will be leaving tonight for Little Rock; Cleft palate surgery is scheduled bright and early. Please pray for a smooth recovery. Our biggest challenge will be keeping Zoya's hands out of her mouth these next few weeks. :(

(Also, pray for John as he will be home trying to work and care for the remaining six kids!!)

I'm not sure whether I'll be update the blog, but look for updates on facebook, if you'd like.

2011-04-09T21:04:00.000-07:00

How cool is this.....

Kirill's Chip-in goal was not only reached but exceeded. As a result, the overflow will be going towards the adoption of this little orphan boy. His name is Archie.

Thanks again to all who have given to help Kirill . The fundraiser will continue until Monday morning. The same rules and prizes will apply, but two children will benefit instead of just one.

A big thanks to Bethany Balsis for doing this for Archie and Kirill. (Bethany, you have some serious fundraising skills).

Kirill's Mama

2011-04-07T21:06:00.000-07:00

This is Kirill, the little boy whose fate is in the hands of a Russian judge; And beside him is Tesney, the woman who wants to be his Mama. This video makes me cry.

2011-04-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

I am super thrilled to see the Kirill fund rising rapidly. We are already to $8,000 and it is only Day 2!

You should know that that painting is valued at around $3,400! So go have a look again. Also, several new items were donated today for the drawing. I am honored to be a part of this. Kirill deserves this and so do the Davis'. Thank you for being a part of it too!

7 Day Blitz for Kirill

2011-04-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

Two more prizes were added to the fundraiser today.....

An autographed book by Conny Wenk of Conny Wenk Photography....

Schmetterlingszauber

autographed by Conny Wenk

.....And these adorable frames!

Organic Bloom Frame

by Lindsey Smith Photography

16" x 20"
choose from a variety of styles and color combinations

I can't believe we are halfway there already! THANK YOU on behalf of Kirill and the Davis family for your generosity!

2011-04-05T08:49:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness! Almost $6,000 for Kirill in just over 24 hours! I am speechless. Keep spreading the word to get Kirill home! Thank you!!

A 7 Day Blitz for Kirill

2011-04-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

On March 17, 2011, the Davis family sat in a Russian courtroom and listened as the judge rejected their plea to adopt Kirill, an orphan with Down syndrome. "The judge said, “Your application to adopt is rejected.” The basis given was that Kirill was “not socially adaptable” due to his “medical condition” and he was better off in an institution than in a home with a family. As the judge read her ruling, she stated several times that we were a good family, that we met all the criteria to adopt a child, but that she would not approve our adoption because Kirill has Down syndrome. She told us that we could adopt another child, because legally our application had no problems according to Russian adoption law. She said she would approve our adoption for a “typical” child, but not this child. Why? The only reason? Because he has Down syndrome."

Being an adoptive mother to a Russian orphan with Down syndrome, I could expand on the million-and-one reasons Tesney and Greg's rejected application to adopt has deeply affected me. But that is not what is important.

What is important is that they are appealing the judge's ruling to the Supreme Court of Moscow and they need our help.

The Davis family has been through so much already... and now they have been slammed with astronomical unforeseen financial hurdles in bringing Kirill home. In order to just begin the process of filing their appeal, they had to pay $2,500. They have been told that they should plan to attend the Supreme Court hearing, which is a trip to Russia they never planned to have to make... add $3,000 - $4,000. If the Supreme Court overturns the ruling, they will have to return home and wait for a date to travel to Kirill's region to reappear before the original judge in their case... add $4,000 - $5,000. Assuming everything goes as planned, they will remain in country for the 10 day waiting period and finalization of their adoption... add $3,000 - $3,500.

So how can you help? A few of us adoptive mommy bloggers have put our heads together to create a 7 day blitz for Kirill.

Our first prize...

Canon EOS Rebel XS Digital SLR camera

donated by Lisa, Charissa, McKenna, Renee and Bethany

or

$500 gift certificate to B&H Photo

Read all about the camera here.

And... a lifetime membership to ClickinMoms. An online haven of all things photography... tips and tutorials on everything from how to use your camera to editing your images to starting a photography business.

Our second prize...

Cirque

by Lisa Tarkett Reed

Approximate gallery value: $3,400

recently juried into the FMH Crestwood Gallery for the Celebration exhibition
completed in 2010
oil on canvas
measures 3 feet by 4 feet

Oil paintings by regional artist, Lisa Tarkett Reed, celebrate and explore the relationships and patterns in nature. Reed’s paintings are inspired by her growing collection of natural objects. Flowers, crystals, rocks, leaves, shells and bones, collected by Reed over decades, provide points of departure in her work. As Reed layers line, shape and color, she discovers and plays with the geometry, relationships, and patterns inherent in organic forms.

In October 2011, Reed will have a solo exhibition at The Artists’ Gallery in Frederick, MD. Currently, Reed has a solo exhibition at Les Idees Gallery, Duquesne University, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reed has had solo exhibitions at the Sweetwater Center for the Arts, Gallery Lascaux, Gallery 937 and View from Zenith Gallery, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as well as at Shenandoah University, Leesburg, Virginia, Figure Five Gallery, San Francisco, California and the Walker Fine Arts Center Gallery at Patrick Henry Community College, Roanoke, Virginia. Reed has shown her work in group exhibitions at the Cheltenham Center for the Arts, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Mary Condon Hodgson Gallery at Frederick Community College, Frederick, Maryland, The Delaplaine Visual Arts Education Center, Frederick, Maryland, Kentler International Drawing Space, Brooklyn, New York, the Carnegie Museum of Art and the Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the State Museum of Pennsylvania, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and the Hoyt Institute of Fine Arts, New Castle, Pennsylvania.

Reed has taught drawing and painting for over fifteen years in regional art centers in Maryland, Pittsburgh and Virginia and at private schools in Brooklyn and Virginia.

Reed earned a BFA in painting from Tyler School of Art, Temple University, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and studied painting in Rome, Italy as part of the Temple University Abroad Program. Reed earned an MFA from the San Francisco Art Institute, San Francisco, California.

In 2009, Reed founded Sister MamaCita, a Mothers’ Cooperative in the Arts and sister group to the Philadelphia based MamaCita, a Mothers’ Cooperative in the Arts founded by Melissa Tevere in 2005.

Our third prize...

Custom blog makeover by Bethany

You will get...

custom header
custom background
custom signature and sidebar headers
installation of pages
installation of facebook/twitter/rss feed widgets
and more!

Our fourth prize...

UltraHD Flip video camera.
donated by Joanne Charland, momma to Vinnie (a T21 friend)

Read all about the video camera here.

:::::

Our fifth prize...

Organic Bloom Frame

by Lindsey Smith Photography

measures 16" x 20"
choose from a variety of styles and color combinations

Our sixth prize...

Schmetterlingszauber

autographed by Conny Wenk

"Schmetterlingszauber is a book about the wonderful friendship of three beautiful little girls. Although they are colorful and unique like little butterflies, they have many more things in common that they don't.

They love spending lots of time together, whether they hang out at home or on the playground having fun galore. Sometimes they even have picnics on a beautiful meadow. They love dressing up like little princesses, polishing their nails, having little "imitation" tattoos, singing and dancing, telling bedtime stories to each other and of course, jumping on the bed.

They can be really wild ... but to me they are just three little butterflies."

:::

Our seventh prize...

(3) handmade hats.

donated by Heather Randlett, momma to Bridget (a T21 friend)

1. Newborn/Baby Beanie-Style Hat... This crocheted baby beanie is crafted with a soft cotton/bamboo blend yarn, adorned with a shabby chic crocheted flower. Perfect for cute newborn baby pictures.

2. Women's Beanie-Style Hat... This crocheted beanie-style hat is crafted with a super soft alpaca/acrylic blend yarn, with 3 beautiful colors - celery green, mocha, and cream.

3. Women's Ski-Style Hat... This knitted snug-fitting ski-style hat is crafted with a soft acrylic/wool blend yarn in a rich cranberry color.

**All are hand wash only, lay flat to dry.

:::

Our eighth prize...

$50 gift certificate to Uppercase Living

donated by Kristen, momma to Ethan (a T21 friend)

Rules

1) Every $10 donation using the ChipIn to Kirill will earn you an entry into the drawing for one of the prizes.
2) All prizes (except the painting) can~~not~~ be shipped overseas, thanks to Crystal who would like to cover the shipping fees if the need arises. Thanks, Crystal!
3) Donations will be accepted through Monday, April 11th.
4) Winners will be announced Tuesday, April 12th.

Please blog it. Please facebook it. Please tweet it. Please share.

We have a lot of love to give and $15,000 is nothing when compared to the army standing behind the Davis family.

*If things do not go as planned for the Davis family, any leftover funds will be properly allocated in support of international adoption of children with Down syndrome.

How Fairy Tales Really End

2011-04-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

My niece sent this. I thought it was hilarious. I think you will too.

Behavior problems at school

2011-03-31T20:53:00.000-07:00

Joseph has had a long streak of good behavior at school lately. Yay!

Zoya, on the other hand, is having lots of behavior problems for her teachers. She is not aggressive or defiant, but just seems to flit around the classroom doing whatever she darn well pleases, not paying attention to instructions or being fazed by consequences.

We have never really dealt with a child with these kinds of behavior issues and I am really at a loss as to how to address it. It doesn't help matters that the school is completely limited on the kinds of consequences they can give to the kids. Even some time out situations are considered 'restraints' and are not allowed in a school setting.

If anyone out there has had these kinds of problems and would care to share what has worked for your child, I would be ever so grateful. We have tried tempting her with rewards at the end of the day for good behavior but she doesn't seem to even care.

Joseph IS doing so well though, and that is certainly something to celebrate. Now if he would just teach Zoya how it's done!

2011-03-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

PLEASE READ and pray for Kirill and his prospective adoptive family.

2011-03-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

Adolescence is coming on strong in the Urban household. Boy do I feel unprepared.
There was a moment today that left two Urbans (one being me) in tears, in a public setting. I know I handled things all wrong, despite being halfway through with this great book:

I pray every day that I am not screwing up too badly. I often try to imagine what kinds of things my kids will say someday about their childhood. Is it too much to hope they will only remember the good things about their mother? :( I miss the days when they were super forgiving of my imperfections as a mother (and when they could be bribed with Tic Tacs and such). I am thankful for the friend who told me long ago that it is our imperfections as parents that should direct our children to their need for their Saviour. (Thank you, Kirsten for that nugget of wisdom)

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Remember all the problems we had last summer with our floors? Well we are still living with no carpet or baseboards. The money we spent trying to seal our concrete, we found out much later, SHOULD have been spent installing a french drain around our house! It turns out that all the issues we were having were related to moisture problems. If we would have invested $35 in a moisture test in the first place, we would have saved ourselves about $10,000 in contractors fees, ruined carpets, cabinets, walls, and baseboards. And yes typing that out just made me want to cry all over again. I guess nobody we hired thought to do it, and we didn't know to ask. Ugh.

Anyway, looks like we are getting back a nice tax refund this year, and guess what we are going to do with it?

NOT fix our concrete and baseboards or replace our carpet! We have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take another vacation this summer, and we all agreed that the floors can wait until later. :) My parents have offered to come up and bond with the three newest additions, while we take our big kids somewhere special. And the generous friends who gave us their time share in Virginia have offered it for the rest of the year. We would never turn down an offer like that!! Hmmmm. Where should we go?
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We finally got a return call from the doctor while we were on vacation. He said that although the HIV test did come back positive, he is willing to allow Zoya to take a holiday from her medications. He felt it was worth trying, to see if her appetite will come back. I am happy to say that we have noticed a teeny tiny bit of an appetite increase. Not that she is necessarily eating like other children, but a couple of times she has actually asked for food, which is a first. Also, we have changed the tube feeding schedule around a little bit, mainly increasing her lunch and dinner portion, and discontinuing her morning feeding. I am thrilled to report that she hasn't thrown up in about three weeks or so. This is so huge. And the best part is she weighs just over 26 pounds now!!!

We are now seeing a dietician regularly, and tomorrow will be the second visit with a feeding specialist. We are trying to figure out the source of Zoya's food aversions.

June, my friend who is an NICU nurse, came up with a theory, and actually it makes the most sense out of everything that has been suggested. She said if Zoya was a preemie (which she was by 13 weeks), she would have been fed by naso-gastric tube, probably for several months. She said for this reason babies born prematurely in the US receiving intense feeding therapy in the first several weeks or months of their lives. Most likely this kind of therapy was not available to a little orphan girl, thus the aversion to food. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Regardless we are determined to figure it out, and we pray that the g-tube is just a temporarily solution to get her over the hump.

By the way, her cleft palate surgery is scheduled for April. If the surgeon feels she is healthy enough, we are absolutely going through with it. Boy it will be nice to have that over with!

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I guess that's today's family update. Hope YOU are doing well!

Spring Fever

2011-03-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today it was decided that we needed to ease up on our homeschool schedule and take lunch to the park with our friends, the Wrights. I brought my camera to the park to take pictures, but instead the moms sat in the nice warm van and visited while the kids ~~froze their tails off~~ enjoyed playing outdoors this fine spring day.

You know you are a homeschool mom when you have an hour and a half to catch up with your girlfriend, and you spend the whole time talking about sentence diagraming, cool math websites, and interesting facts about presidents.

So why did I take my camera all the way to the park on a chilly spring day but not take any pictures of kids playing?

I have no idea.

But I did take this photo:

We went to Wendy's for lunch. Liesel ordered a chicken sandwich----with the lettuce on the side to share with a certain someone peeking out of the carrier. And yes he did come to the park with us. I have to say Prince is one spoiled rodent!

Earlier I had decided to run up to the school and rescue Hope from her peanut butter and jelly sandwich; I took her out to lunch instead. I feel as if I am always up at the school dealing with tube feedings or behavior problems , or taking one of the kids to the doctor. I wanted to make sure Hope knew that she is special too.

She wanted to go to the "Pat-a-Cake Pat-a-Cake Baker's Man" as she calls it (otherwise known as the sub and deli shop just up the street).

She asked me why the baker painted on the window looked so surprised?

I told her maybe a busload of people just showed up and he didn't have enough food for everybody!

She said.......

"Maybe he just saw his girlfriend kissing his cousin!"

Hmmmm. That WOULD be quite a surprise!:)

Love that girl.

Virginia pictures

2011-03-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Virginia Beach

Colonial Williamsburg

Jamestown

Washington DC

Yorktown Battlefield

There! Did it work that time?

Technical difficulties, but we're back!

2011-03-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

Due to technical difficulties, the Urban Spring Break picture post has been postponed to a later time. I worked hard posting them last night and this morning they had disappeared. Will try again soon.

We had a wonderful time in Virginia and would like to thank our very dear friends who so generously donated their time share so we could have a once-in-a-lifetime family vacation. Thank you Friends!!

Driving straight through 22 hours each way really wasn't as bad as we feared it might be. Joseph and Ava tie for first place for the Best Traveler Award!!

Pictures coming soon....

2011-03-08T20:53:00.003-08:00

Well Fiddlesticks!
The test came back positive after all. :(

My musicians

2011-03-02T20:56:00.000-08:00

I love technology!! (At times)

My Mom and my Grandma Skyped the kids today to hear the pieces they played at the Music Festival over the weekend that earned them each first place in their categories/instruments (Jude-piano, Liesel-guitar). When I think back to the 80s when I used to imagine the future, I don't remember imagining a scene like this!!!....

.....A computer screen sitting on a bunkbed holding two 'live', admiring grandmas!

Cool!

We messed up by using an new and unfamiliar video camera. Not only did we not press the right button until halfway through the song, but we ran out of memory on the card and thus were only able to record one kid for only half of the song. Here he is....

We were shocked when he was chosen for first place. He has only had just over a year's worth of piano lessons! So proud of this boy. The music genes are certainly NOT from me. Maybe they skipped a generation, or they are from John. Not from me, not even a little bit.

Liesel also won first place in guitar. (I suppose I don't have to mention that she was the only guitarist competing.) Regardless, we are proud. She played well, and both kids will be going to compete at the state level. How exciting for all of us!

We were able to pick up my 96 yr. old Grandma from her nursing home and take her along with us. (I am referring to the other Grandma, the local one. Is it unbelievable that both my grandmothers are still living and healthy!) We took her with us to the afternoon part of the music festival. It was special that she was there to see Jude perform, and then win first place. We stopped at Braums for lunch and ice cream and I took this picture of the whole gang.

She is hilarious. Grandma said, "People are gonna wonder whether you are running a nursing home or a children's home!" We DID get a few funny looks!

2011-03-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

You guys don't know how much your comments mean to me! You gave me encouragement, and you also gave me ideas!

I spent a while on the phone today talking to a nurse through our health insurance company, learning about benefits I didn't even know we had. She even offered to make some calls for me and get the ball rolling on a referral for a dietician and a GI specialist. I am not the most assertive and persistent person in the world and so this was a welcome gesture. Our family has always been so healthy, even the children with Down Syndrome...I haven't really known where to begin searching for the services we need for Zoya. Nurse Debbie, who works for United Healthcare, is super friendly, extremely knowledgeable, and returns phone calls promptly. I think I might have accidentally told her I loved her today. :) By the end of the day, Debbie had found a dietician in network, spoke to her personally, and called to get my permission to pursue the referral with our pediatrician tomorrow. I think we are finally getting somewhere.

Meanwhile, after my long post last night, I went in to find vomit all over Zoya's bed this morning. I think she puked the entire thing up. Is it sad that as I'm cleaning it up, I'm calculating how many dollars, as well as calories, were wasted? We have decreased her feedings a little bit for now until we can see a dietician/GI to determine what is the problem.

Having 90% of my time, resources, and energy going to one child has obviously had an impact on the rest of the family. Mainly my homeschoolers. After all these calls must happen during business hours, which are also school hours. I wonder how many days these last few weeks our assignments/lessons have been things like Basic Laundry Techniques 101, Nutrition 101 (i.e. how to cram the most calories into the smallest space), 7th grade Math Problems: "If a child needs to consume 237ml/ can, times four cans, over a 12 hour period, how many ml will she need to consume per hour?".....Etc.

I am confident there are good changes coming for Zoya. I can't wait to write a good report about her soon!

Zoya update

2011-03-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

I am absolutely exhausted. Perhaps I should just go to bed early, but then I wouldn't get to enjoy the wonderful luxury just sitting here on the computer in peace and quiet! ;).

There have been so many moments these last couple of weeks that have left me either laughing, crying, or screaming in frustration. Who knew getting supplies to a child with a feeding tube could be so complicated! It has just been one issue after the next.

-First, the box of syringes that was sent was delivered to the wrong address....specifically the abandoned property next door. The next day the blizzard came and the box has never been seen again.

-I called about two weeks later to report the box had never arrived, they tracked it and found out what happened, and resent a new order.....

-Except this time, they sent a new mickey button instead of the syringes we ordered. Oh well, I thought. We will need one eventually so I'll just hang onto it until later, and then call on the syringes again. Yesterday I received a bill for $176 for an item (mickey button) we didn't need and didn't order. When I called, they said they have on record that I did call and order one. But why would I have done that when I haven't even been given instructions to change it out until April?

-When the dietician set us up, she calculated a 'discounted' rate of $16.74 per case of 24 cans of Pediasure (or so I heard). This was far cheaper than clipping coupons, so we agreed on this price. I was really pleased and thought I had gotten a great deal on this. Got the bill later, and realized it was really $67.40. Maybe I need to get my hearing checked. ha

-Later, when she wasn't gaining enough weight, we switched her to a pump. Nobody seemed to know exactly which doctor was supposed to order the pump. Did it need to be the developmental pediatrician who recommended the increase? Or our primary care physician? Finally the pump and a pole came but without a clamp to hold it....

-I called three times looking for that clamp. Each time they said they would deliver it the next day. They didn't.

-A week later it arrived by UPS. While I was signing for the package outside, the phone was ringing inside. It was the medical supply company, leaving a message to notify me that the reason we didn't receive a clamp was because that particular pump we have doesn't have a clamp. He said you're supposed to just rest the pump on a table. Hmmmmm. So then why did they deliver a pole to hang the pump on?

-Came in the house, and tried anyway. The clamp worked perfectly. Hmmmm???

-We compared prices on formula and realized that even with clipping coupons we were going to be paying about $2,500 a year JUST on Zoya's formula! Since we found out our insurance doesn't pay for the formula, (according to the hospital staff, the medical equipment, AND the insurance representative herself), we have been clipping coupons, applying for the company's discount programs, and learning how to make homemade tube food....in an attempt to save money.

-In order to qualify for the company's discounted price, we have to show copies of our tax return, paycheck stubs, fill out forms, and get a letter of coverage denial from the insurance company. I got all the way to the letter from the insurance company, and when I called to ask for it, the insurance representative told me that I'm mistaken....They DO pay for Pediasure. Hmmmm. So why did the first lady I talked to two months ago tell me they didn't?

-So I called the medical supply company and told them to bill insurance for the Pediasure, and the customer service rep said, "Are you SURE that's what they said?...United Healthcare very rarely covers formula. I just can't imagine them telling you that they do. WHO told you this again?" BIG SIGH. So I guess it's more phone calls tomorrow.

-Meanwhile, we have yet even to this day, seen a dietician, other than the one who discharged Zoya from her hospitalization in December. There is nobody other than me who is monitoring her weight, watching what she eats, trying to increase her caloric intake. This is so disheartening to me. I have asked several doctors for a referral, and without fail this has slipped through the cracks over and over again. Today I finally got a message that the referral has been sent to a speech therapist who specializes in feeding therapy. This is definitely a step in the right direction, although it is not a dietician. Nonetheless I left a message on the voicemail today and praying we can get in soon.

We started out by feeding Zoya a total of 3 cans of Pediasure a day. She gained a little at first but then slowed down. She also started vomiting frequently then, which was new for her. It seemed to correspond to the increase in her medications, although I can't get a doctor to confirm this possibility (they think it is due to FAS). Eventually she was back down to 23 pounds and it became clear that she was eating even less now since she had her g-tube put in. The developmental pediatrician calculated what she needed, and said that 3 cans was barely even enough to sustain her, let alone make her gain weight. So now we are up to 5 cans a day. The only way it was possible to get this amount into her tiny stomach was to put the feedings in a pump at night. So now she is on a slow drip over 12 hours...4 cans at night, and one can spread out via 3 bolus feedings during the day. This is working out pretty good, except that she is still nauseated and vomiting, even occasionally at night, and is now virtually eating NOTHING by mouth. We still try of course. Boy do we try! If and when she does take a bite of something she usually holds it in her mouth. Often later we find it spit out on the floor or in the trash can. This little girl is breaking my heart.

I really have had to ask the Lord to deal with the lack of compassion in my heart towards her birth mother. Every hurdle Zoya faces is a direct result of the substance abuse that she had to endure in her mother's womb. It is really hard for me to have feelings of forgiveness as I watch my emaciated daughter gagging up her graham cracker into the trashcan, or holding food in her mouth because she wants to please me but she can't bear to swallow the grape. Sometimes I cry when I see the panic and anxiety on her face when I tell her it's time to eat. And it just seems to get worse and worse. I don't think I will ever again be able to enjoy the beer commercials on Superbowl Sunday. :( I wish more people were talking about fetal alcohol syndrome. BTW this diagnosis has been confirmed, as all the other genetic tests have come back negative. :( Boy that was hard.

Incidentally, after making a hundred phone calls trying to understand some conflicting reports we have been receiving between different specialists, I finally got some answers. Zoya has had one positive HIV test, and two negative tests. One doctor felt that she may have been misdiagnosed and mistreated all of these years. Another doctor feels that although the tests should have all been consistent, he thinks the fact that she has been medicated so regularly is just causing the virus to be undetectable. Either way, the HIV results have been almost too good to be true. On Monday we ran another test that *should* confirm. If it continues to show negative, we are planning to discontinue all her medications. Oh, please let it be negative. Please pray with us! We feel that the drugs are poison to her little body, and she needs to get well! The doctor said either way he is willing to work with us on her medications to see if they are indeed the cause of her nausea. He may even be willing to let us put them on hold for awhile and just see what happens. Praise the Lord that we are finally getting somewhere with Zoya!!

Are you still reading? If you are, perhaps you can see why I'm so tired, but would rather stay up in blog world where all doctors, medical supplies, and insurance companies, are closed, children are asleep, and nobody needs my attention for a moment.

2011-02-25T21:13:00.000-08:00

Joseph loves the farm. He loves being outside. I think he loves life in general.

He loves the dogs.

And the pony.

He loves exploring.

And most of all, he loves when his daddy gets home from work.

We've been thanking the Lord for more sunny days lately! Perfect weather for hanging out with the horses.That winter storm a few weeks ago was brutal! Of course now we're dealing with a lot of mud in our van, on the porch, on our shoes, and even in the house....Yuck.

Simeon and his friend Mason have been buddies since they were born! I have always found it a little eerie how much they look alike. I wish I could find pictures of them, looking like identical twins sitting together on a little blanket. Eeerie, I tell ya! I noticed the last time we had Mason over that he has had a little bit of a growth spurt and he is now taller than Simeon. I'm not sure Simeon was too happy about that, considering he is three months older.

Jude says, "Hey look, Mom...I'm Uncle Steve!"

Heh heh.

Ava can....

2011-02-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention on Ava's birthday post....This is the first year Ava has blown out her own candles (sort of)! This is quite an accomplishment!

Ava can also:
-Walk down the stairs, holding the handrail
-Put on her own socks
-Undress herself
-Make choices
-Feed herself
-Say several words
-Wave to strangers
-Wear Mama's shoes
-Kick a ball
-Run (Ok she's not very graceful but still...)
-Do a simple puzzle
-Stack blocks
-Go potty
-Blow kisses
-Sign "I love you"

Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are (Cover by MattyBRaps ft. Tyler Ward)

2011-02-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share this video which was shared by Amy. I think you'll love it!

2011-02-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

I was pretty upset yesterday when I found a Valentine sucker crammed into the pencil sharpener. The motor was damaged as a result and the $25 pencil sharpener is now history.

...But all is now forgiven.

Happy Birthday Ava!

2011-02-20T21:15:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated Ava's 7th birthday and three years since she joined our family. I wish I could adequately put into words how much this little girl has enriched our family. Instead I will let the pictures speak for themselves. Happy Birthday Sweet Ava!!!

Valentine's Dance

2011-02-19T14:19:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Father-Daughter Valentine Dance for Zoya and Hope for their school. It was originally scheduled for last Friday while we were all snowed in and rescheduled for last night.

John was a little worn out when he got home last night. He mentioned something about a bunch of little girls high on sugar and overstimulated by very loud music. :) But he had a great time, and so did the girls.

I did send the camera with John in hopes that he would come back with some sweet photos. I should have known that if I wanted pictures I should have gone uninvited and taken them myself! Oh, well, at least I got a few pre-dance photos. :)

Can it really be true?

2011-02-17T22:10:00.001-08:00

That I am officially the mother of a teenager?

Happy 13th Birthday, Simeon!!

2011-02-16T20:07:00.000-08:00

I've been asked more than once how I "do it all". So I thought I'd share a little bit about our family's schedule, and some of the ways we try to get everything squeezed into our days.

John gets up at who-knows-what-time and tries to get some work in before the morning chaos begins. If Hope doesn't decide to play mama and wake the littles up at 5 am, the kids usually sleep in until they are awakened at 7am. I get up about 15 minutes before that and try to get a shower in (or not) and breakfast started. We try (try being the key word) to sit down and have breakfast as a family at around 7:15 and a super quick 5 minute family devotion before I take Ava to the potty, get her dressed for school, and pack a lunch for John and Ava. John takes Ava and her little friend to school. They are out the door by 7:40.

Then Liesel, Jude and Simeon do breakfast kitchen clean up duty while I give Zoya her medicine and start her tube feeding, which is to be given over a 20-30 minute period. My smart husband came up with the idea to rubberband the syringe to a cabinet knob and let her sit on the counter tops during her feeds so she can't wander around the house and so I don't have to stand there holding a syringe for half hour every time I feed her. Thanks honey. While she is being tube fed, I get Joseph and Hope dressed and ready for school. Meanwhile the older kids clean the kitchen and supervise Zoya's feeding. Jude wipes off the table and benches, Simeon wipes the counters and stove, and Liesel sweeps. The dishes are put in the sink for me to do later. Then I get Zoya ready, pack lunches (including Zoya's Pediasure for school administration), and load everybody up. On Mondays we have coop so we pretty much skip breakfast clean up and get to come home after a long day to a very messy kitchen.

While I take Zoya, Joseph and Hope to school (less than 1/2 mile from home) at 8:50, Liesel, Jude and Simeon are (supposed to be) feeding the dogs, the cat, and horses. They each have a 'farm' job, including straightening the porch, yard, barn and pet care. Liesel's guinea pig is totally her responsibility and she takes care of him when she first gets up in the morning before breakfast. The cat only shows up at the house a couple of times a week and usually only when it's really cold. He loves exploring the nearby woods and hangs out in the barn a lot.

If all of the above has been done to my satisfaction, we start homeschooling between 9:00 and 9:15. Our school is divided into Group work and Independent Work. We usually start with group work which is Science, History, Memory Work, Latin. Then while the kids do their independent work (Math, Language Arts, Writing, Typing, Math Drills), usually from around 11:00 to 12:30, I am trying to catch up on laundry, breakfast dishes, and whatever cleaning I can squeeze in---which typically isn't much as I'm often called on for help. It works out best if the kids can come to me for help while I fold clothes, make my bed, or do the dishes.

After lunch the kids are supposed to read for 30 minutes. If that doesn't happen we try to get our reading in at bedtime. After reading is "free time" although I require my musicians to practice piano and guitar at this time. Liesel and Jude are now both taking piano AND guitar and are doing so well. Simeon thinks he might eventually like to play the drums, but in the meantime will start spring soccer soon as his extracurricular activity.

At 1:45 I meet the carpool to pick up Ava and we either go straight to therapy or back home, depending on the day. Monday we have coop, piano/guitar lessons and therapy which is a lot for one day but it frees up other days so we can be home more. Wednesday is also therapy day. On therapy days I either take a book to read while I wait, or run errands close by. (Goodwill is just a couple of miles away! Yay.) I try to schedule appointments for afternoons so it doesn't run into school time but it doesn't always happen that way.

At 3:30 I pick up Joseph, Zoya and Hope from school. 4:00 is snack and play time for everyone.

At about 5:30 the kids work on their paid jobs while I make dinner. Each kid has a zone they are responsible for picking up, Windex-ing, vacuuming, sweeping, dusting or whatever needs to be done. John decided we could either hire a maid or pay our kids. Kids work for far less! I've had to lower my standards, but for the price I can't complain. Hope's job is to 'babysit' the little ones in her room. They put a CD on and dance in front of the mirror. And the girls are teaching Joseph ballet, which is really cute!

John gets home around 6:00 which is right at dinner time. We always eat as a family. Someone has to sit by Ava at meals to make sure she doesn't throw her bowl and utensils, and someone has to sit by Joseph to make sure he doesn't cram too much food in his mouth all at once. At 6:30ish while John and the kids clean up the kitchen, I give Zoya her meds and tube feed her, put Joseph and Ava on the potty, bathe them, brush their teeth, and get them ready for bed...PJs backwards of course! Ava and Joseph are usually in bed by 7:00, and Zoya by 7:30-8:00, and Hope by 8:00-8:30.

Boy, do I enjoy 7:00 bedtime!

(P.S. I do the grocery shopping at Aldi on Sundays immediately after church. It is cheap, the lines are shorter, and I can run in without kids while John stays with them in the van. Also, doing grocery shopping on Sunday with everyone in the van means lots of hands to help carry the bags into the house and put groceries away while I make lunch.)

After the little ones are in bed we try to spend quality time with the older kids, whether it's by doing family devotions/Bible reading, watching a movie, or just hanging out. The older kids are in bed by 9 or 9:30, later on weekends. Once the kids are in bed I make it a policy not to work any more. I've been working all day and I think I deserve some time on the blog, facebook, reading, studying, or watching a movie. Right? Often John does work during this time, or watches a show on Netflix with me. Lately we have been enjoying Lie to Me. At the moment he is working on taxes while I play on the computer. I suppose I should be in the office with him offering him moral support!

Love is....

2011-02-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

We aren't really big on Valentine's celebrations around here. I would say something profound like it is because we celebrate love year round, but truth be told:

A. I am cheap

B. I like to keep everybody's expectations nice and realistic.

C. Holiday celebrations can be a lot of work.

John is definitely more romantic and sentimental about these things than I am, ~~as evidenced by the way he used to do a fabulous job of gift buying until he found some of his great efforts in the Goodwill basket one day a few years ago.~~

There is one particular moment in my life that I will always think of as the definition of love; a perfect representation of the Heavenly Father's love for us. And that was the moment, years ago, that I was sick with fever and flu. We were newly-wed at the time, maybe we had Simeon, I don't remember. And John was making me soup and bringing me cold rags for my forehead. And when I reached up to touch his face, it occurred to me that he was flushed. Then I realized his skin was hotter than mine. Three degrees hotter, to be exact. He had the flu too, and was just as miserable if not more. But he never told me. Because he loved me and wanted to take care of me. No matter how bad he felt. It was a sacrifice of love.

I remember that a lot, because there are many moments like that, when I don't feel like getting up in the night to clean up barf, when I don't feel like cooking or changing a diaper, when I would rather send the kids off to play in another room than sit down and read with them, or when it's easier to bake the cookies myself than to let little clumsy toddler hands help me out. John has been a very good example to me and to our family of what love looks like.

Did I ever tell you how we met? We met on a blind date that neither of us wanted to go on. His roommate asked my roommate out back in April of 1994. They thought their first date would be less awkward if they made it a double. Problem is they couldn't find anyone to go with them, including us! I can't tell you how much I did NOT want to go on that date! But because they couldn't find anyone else, we both finally agreed to go. But just this once. ha! Two days later he called me and asked me on a real date. Just the two of us. Six months later we were engaged and a year later married! Sweet memories!

Today I was reminiscing about how we used to take naps on Sunday afternoons and how much I missed those days. Immediately John said he had to go get the oil changed and that he was taking everybody with him. He left me home ALONE so I could enjoy a box of chocolates all to myself. And a nice long nap. Now don't you see why I love him so?

Happy Valentine's Day to all. What does love look like to you, and how will you be celebrating?

You are invited....

2011-02-11T19:29:00.000-08:00

...To attend a dinner and auction in honor of Masha. John and have been asked to speak, and we would love to see you there! Praying that this event will raise the remainder of the funds she needs for her family to travel to Eastern Europe and make her a part of their family! Details, including instructions on how to purchase tickets, below...

And if you haven't already, please enter to win! The iPad fundraiser is still being held on Meredith's blog. Over $3,600 has been raised. Please help her meet her goal of $5,000 by donating HERE.

2011-02-11T18:52:00.000-08:00

(Stolen from Amy's blog)

We are on Day 10 of snow days....Definitely ready to go back to our normal routine!!

Zoya's Prayers

2011-02-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

Here is a video of Zoya saying her bedtime prayers. She knew I was video taping; I told her it was to show Opa and Oma. I wanted to show you how well she has picked up English, and to show exactly what I mean when I talk about her speech difficulties associated with the cleft. Please leave me a comment and tell me how well you understand her. I'm curious to know how much of it is just Mom-undertanding, if you know what I mean.

There are a couple of things I want you to notice about her in this video:

1. Notice her speech *could* be better if she just worked a little harder to use her lips. The cleft palate really has nothing to do with why she doesn't close her lips to talk. One thing we learned from the speech therapist is that there are many sounds she could be and should be making but nobody has ever made her, thus she has gotten lazy about talking. We need to do a better job of insisting she work a little harder to make the sounds that she can.

2. Notice both of her hands are bright pink. This is because her sister Hope painted her fingernails, and went a little overboard. :)

3. Her pajamas are on backwards. She insists on wearing them this way because Joseph and Ava wear theirs that way.

4. She is sleeping in Hope's bed, not her own. Hope ~~bribes her~~ tells her that when she eats good during the day she can sleep with her in her bed.

2011-02-08T18:34:00.000-08:00

Today I took a kid to the dentist, another kid to the doctor, and made a trip to the emergency room which ended up resulting in minor surgery. (On top of that I changed four diapers, fed 7 children three meals, gave nine medications and did two dressing changes.) It's been a busy day!

Zoya has been developing this 'thing' on her belly button. Red, swollen, portruding. Remember she had an incision on her belly button from the laparoscopic surgery for the G-tube placement in December, so we knew it was either an infection or a hernia. We have been snowed in and unable to get her to the doctor until today. The pediatrician sent us to the ER thinking it was a strangulated hernia but the surgeon took one look at it and said it was an abscess that just needed to be opened and drained.

So, after a minor operation with sedation, she is now home and sleeping soundly in her little bed. Praise the Lord it was just a little minor thing and she is doing well.

Here is a sweet little picture from the hospital that I wanted to share. Joseph climbed up in her hospital bed and started kissing her little hand...spontaneously. How sweet are they!!

Whoever thought adopting older, institutionalized orphaned children would 'ruin our family'....Well, they were sure wrong!! Love these kids!

Tube feedings, sleepovers, snow days, and more

2011-02-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

As requested, here is a little explanation of how we do Zoya's tube feedings.

We tube feed her four times a day, after breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner. We allow her about 30 minutes to eat what is on her plate (which usually ends up being somewhere between 2 and 5 bites of food), then we give her 6 oz. of Pediasure through her g-tube (or "mickey button"). There is a tube that locks straight into her mickey button, and there is a syringe that attaches to the end of the tube. The Pediasure flows to gravity and the speed is regulated by how low or how high you hold it. It has to flow in over a period of about 20 minutes.

Problem with this plan is we have been so busy running around going to therapy and appointments and school, we have often inadvertantly skipped the after-snack feeding. I cheated a little by increasing the total amount of formula to 8 oz, and giving it only after meals, which brought the calorie intake to exactly the same as prescribed. However, after she threw up a few times after feeds we have gone back down to the 6 oz. 4 times a day.

One of the blessings of the tube is that she no longer has to take her yucky medications by mouth. Granted, I still make her take them by mouth occasionally, so she doesn't lose the skill, but it has been wonderful not to have that battle every day. One medication in particular, Kaletra, is 30% alcohol, and bitter, and HORRIBLE, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially a little 6 year old girl.

Here are her morning medications......Gee, can you see why she might have NO appetite?

Incidentally, she had gotten her weight up to 25 pounds, but lost a pound after being sick one week. Ugh!! But at least we're on an uphill trend I guess.

And that is, in a nutshell, how we feed Zoya.

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I was going through adding photos and updating all the kids's baby books last week, and I found this in Ava's book......All the hair she ever had, right here in this Ziplock bag. I panicked one day when I could't remember if I had kept it or thrown it away. I am sooooo glad I kept it. My poor sweet girl does not do well in the cold; she is particularly grumpy each winter. I can't say that I blame her with no hair to keep her head warm. I wish she could understand that a warm hat would help but she will have nothing to do with one!

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I sure love kids...I walked into the bathroom the other day and saw this. Here is our pet Guinea Pig, Prince Charming, "watching a movie"...Veggie Tales of course (ha), on the iPad, eating a delicious carrot snack. I'm so glad the kids thought to put an old towel under him! If anyone ever wonders how well we take care of our animals, wonder no more!!

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Cousin sleepovers are the best! Hope and Sebastian get along perfectly because ~~Hope is bossy and Sebastain is easy going~~ they have so much in common. Here they are dancing The Nutcracker. hee hee

Liesel and Evi got all made up and dressed up and put on a little concert for us. Evi sang and Liesel played the piano. The girls made me promise I wouldn't put this picture on facebook. Good thing they didn't mention the blog. :) They are sure growing up.

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For the past year and a half or two, ever since Ava started scooting around and eventually walking, she has had an obsession with tipping chairs over. Apparently she loves the loud BANG it makes when it hits the concrete floor. As a result, half of our chairs were broken (and my nerves rattled). When we spent time with my uncle in California over Thanksgiving, John learned some woodworking skills. For Christmas I asked for dining room benches. He delivered! I LOVE LOVE LOVE having benches in my dining room. He must be sick of me thanking him every day for these things. They are sturdy, easy to clean, can fit a million people, can easily slide under the table in between meals so I don't trip over them every time I walk through the room. There are no more greasy fingerprints to clean off the backs of the black chairs. And best of all, NO MORE CHAIR TIPPING!! Can you tell I'm a little excited?

To simplify things, we have kept all the clothes belonging to Hope, Joseph, Ava, and Zoya, in the closet in Hope's and Zoya's room. Previously there were two dressers and a hanging bar in the closet. It was so difficult to get to the clothes though, and the clothes were constantly being pulled onto the floor. My sweet husband spent last Saturday building shelves into the closet. Now everything is neatly organized and labeled and at eye level. This system has made my life so much easier. I so appreciate having a husband who anticipates my needs and strives to meet them. He sure knows my love language. Thanks Honey!

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I love living in the country but one thing about it, nobody clears your driveway when you get 21" of snow. Thankfully everybody worked together and the neighbor helped us as well, and we were finally able to get out to church yesterday after being snowed in for six days. Wow. School is cancelled again today. It has been interesting being cooped in the house for a week with 9 people, 3 dogs, and a cat with diarrhea! I am looking forward to life back to normal. Hopefully sooner than later.

By the way, do you see what looks like a white snowball down by the pond? That is our fluffy white pony, Jack. Have I ever talked about Jack on here? He is a cutie. We traded him for Mo a while back. I'll need to post a photo I guess.

2011-02-04T12:44:00.000-08:00

Meghan, my dear friend, and her family, are working very hard to adopt this little girl named Masha. Like most other children born with Down Syndrome in her country, Masha is headed to the mental institution soon. The process has gone more quickly for her prospective adoptive family than the funds have come in. They desperately need help with the last of their expenses as they will have the opportunity to travel very soon. As you know, adoption is expensive. An iPad raffle is being held to help them with their travel expenses and I want to encourage my readers to participate. Let's help them with their plane tickets to go get that little girl home!

Here are the details: (ALL donations are tax deductible through the Ukraine Outreach/ Eli Project!)
$10= 1 entry
$25= 3 entries
$50= 8 entries
$100= 20 entries
$150= 35 entries
$300= 80 entries!!!!

Click here to read more details of the giveaway and to make a donation through a Chip In link. Thank you to the Cornishes for hosting this giveaway to bless this little girl and her family!!!

Snow Days!

2011-02-02T15:59:00.000-08:00

Looks like school will be out most of the week due to the blizzard that came through on Monday evening. Am I the only mom that makes her homeschooled kids do schoolwork when the local public schools are out? I guess I'm just mean that way. I told them they will just be smarter than their peers!

Finishing school just after noon means still plenty of time to play in the snow. We are all trapped at home, even John, which means he gets to work from home all week.

Anyway, here are a few photos:

The pond is solid ice.

Here Simeon is STANDING in a snow drift.

And digging himself a snow tunnel.

Hope only lasted a few minutes outside. She takes after me that way I guess.

Somebody please let me in!!

I love how the birds come up to the porch to find shelter from the cold. Cardinals are my favorite!

Ava detests the snow but she LOVES snow ice cream!!

Snow Ice Cream

1 gallon fresh snow

1 cup sugar

1 t. vanilla

2 cups milk

Mix together and serve. Yummy!

2011-01-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

Thank you all who left sweet and encouraging comments after my recent post.

I wanted to clarify that the comments I was referring to were not intended for our family or left on this blog. (Although I'm sure it's been said behind our backs). I am talking about the comments that can be found at the bottom of any article about international adoption, special needs or not. A friend of mine had sent me a link to an article that was written about their family and their adoption, and of course at the end were all kinds of hateful and ugly remarks about their sweet family. Those were a few (Yes, there were more) of the ugly comments that were posted there.

I do appreciate knowing so many of you at there feel the same as I do. We are a very blessed nation and we are all fortunate to have been born in such a great place. The least we can do is reach out to those who have nothing at all, not even parents to love them. Of course I do not agree with anybody taking advantage of government resources but leaving children to die, whose own society, own parents even, have rejected them, so that my fellow Americans don't feel burdened, is absurd. Thanks, Ya'll! You're the best!

I am having problems with uploading photos from Picasa. In fact I am having blog/computer/photo/video problems in general (The problem lies in the ignorance of the user more than in the technology itself). Do you have a camcorder/camera combination that you love? One that easily uploads to blogger, facebook, Youtube, etc. One that is easy for computer dummies like me?

2011-01-26T22:13:00.000-08:00

John called when I was out running errands the other day and asked me to go by Walgreens to pick up a photo. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why he'd be printing photos. He NEVER even takes photos, let alone prints them!

I started cracking up when I opened the envelope and saw this 8x10 collage looking up at me. I wonder what the photo lab workers thought about this!

As you saw in my previous post, Joseph is having some behavior problems at school. John thought he'd help Joseph succeed with Dad's omnipresence in the classroom and a proverbial carrot to dangle in front of his nose for good behavior. :)

P.S. No comment as to whether this did the trick or not.

2011-01-26T21:39:00.000-08:00

I am really sick of reading comments from selfish and ignorant people who express that disabled orphans abroad should remain in their own country and not burden our system in America. I am tired of people suggesting that only children who were fortunate enough to be born in this country are deserving of love and a family.

I can only assume the people who leave these kinds of comments have never tried to adopt domestically before. Because if they did they would probably know that most kids in the foster care system will never be put up for adoption. Most of them will end up back with their families. The few that do get put up for adoption will most likely be adopted by their foster family or by extended relatives. The people who leave these kinds of comments surely have never researched mental institutions for orphans overseas and the conditions that exist in them. I'll bet those people have never actually inquired about one of the special needs waiting children from child welfare, because if they did they might have learned that a hundred plus other families had already inquired about that child and were hoping to be chosen to be his lucky parent. I'll bet they haven't looked into the requirements to adopt internationally. If they did they would know that prospective adoptive parents must prove themselves to be financially self-sufficient and must provide proof that their insurance will cover their adopted child/children's medical expenses. And I'm sure they don't realize that most government benefits for disabled children only apply to those adopted domestically anyway.

No, I'm sure they didn't know all of those things or else they wouldn't make such idiots of themselves by leaving comments like this:

"There are special needs children in this country who need to be adopted so I have a problem with someone bringing kids over from other countries like this."

"People think they are doing a noble and good thing, but they are in turn burdening this country which will therefore take much needed resources out of an American children life."

"Immigration should not allow these people to do this. Even if they have their own insurance through their employer or privately purchased, we dont need these kind of burdens being added."

"That's the LAST thing this country needs is more people from another country coming here to live off our underfunded over used Medicaid system!!"

Church and special needs

2011-01-19T06:04:00.000-08:00

The reason I asked about your church experiences, is because I have read that a large percentage of families with special needs kiddos end up dropping out of church all together. I have wondered why this is exactly...Is it because the church is unaccommodating, unwelcoming, or unprepared, or is it just that it becomes too much trouble to get out the door with your family every week? Or because you end up spending the whole service in the hall or the cry room or the nursery anyway...You might as well have just stayed home and listened to the sermon online in your PJs in the first place.

Thanks to those who left comments. I loved to read how some churches have gone above and beyond to minister to special kids and their families. I love the idea of personal buddies, and matching mentors to kids, and allowing them to participate in 'normal' Sunday School activities, and even having opportunities to greet or usher! How awesome is that!! I can just picture Joseph and Ava at the doors of church greeting someday!

And to those who have not had such positive experiences, I am sorry. We have had mixed responses from people. Many times we have walked down the halls wondering who is going to be our worker that day, and hoping that it is so-and-so who has an Uncle with Down Syndrome. Can't you immediately tell who loves your kids and who doesn't?

We haven't been to a church with a specific special needs ministry so we have put Joseph and Ava in with the 2 year olds as that is about where they are developmentally. But I'll be honest. We always worry about how big and strong they are in comparison to the other kids in there, and we are always praying they aren't in there pulling hair or shoving, and hoping we aren't despised by the other parents. I wonder, do the workers feel burdened by our kids and should we be in there volunteering instead of enjoying the luxury of sitting through a service? And Zoya. How would other parents feel to know the truth about her, and should we keep her with us in big church, just to be on the safe side? And really if you think about it, it sure is a lot of trouble getting to church without anybody wetting their pants or disrobing or pouring milk all over themselves right before you leave or on the way, let alone on time. :) When you are able to pull all of this off you almost feel as if you have earned the privilege of sitting in church without your kids and without feeling guilty. But then you feel guilty when they announce from the pulpit their desperate need for volunteers in the kids church, and you just can't stop wondering what is really going on in the 2 year old room while you are trying to listen to the message anyway.

We visited a new church the last couple of weekends. Last week, the staff had a meeting to see how the church could better reach out to families like ours. By the next Sunday there was an note in the bulletin requesting volunteers to work one on one with special needs children. I got an email yesterday saying that 10 people volunteered and were excited to be a part of it! I was blown away. The children's church director said I would be getting a call this week to see what our needs are and how they can reach out to other families like ours. Wow! Now that is God's heart and a very necessary ministry! I have talked to so many families who would love to be more involved and want to feel more comfortable at church. Parents whose kids are overstimulated too easily, parents whose kids make a lot of noise and a lot of messes, parents whose kids are wheelchair bound or incontinent or have severe food allergies or who do not know how to display socially appropriate behavior. It would be a wonderful feeling to believe that your kids' caretakers are genuinely happy to see them each week (as opposed to wondering if they're saying to themselves, "Boy I sure do hope the Urban family decides to skip church again this week!")

(NOT that we have had any really negative experiences at all in previous churches. I just want to add that for the record. Just mentioning the thoughts that go through the minds of moms like me every Sunday. And by the way we are only church shopping because we really need to find something closer to home).

We have been totally TOTALLY blessed with wonderful babysitters. We all were super sad when Christina, our favorite babysitter, grew up and moved away to college. We had her for about 5 years.

But then Emma came along and she has been just as awesome. We LOVE Emma!!

I stole this from her facebook page. As you can see Emma is very popular with kids.

Sunday night Emma took the littlest ones to her church where she volunteers in the preschool so that we could have a quiet night out with the big kids. Hope had the choice to come with us but without hesitation she wanted to go with Emma!

We had the most amazing, peaceful.....QUIET and stress free dining out experience with "just" three big kids at the Cheesecake Factory. Nobody threw their bowl, spit their food out on the table, hollered loudly, or tipped any chairs over. And nobody grabbed the waiter's crotch! It was truly a heavenly experience!!!

Then we jeans shopped and people watched at the mall. Wow,it felt like being in a 'normal' family for once. :)

It was a great night for everyone, I think even for Emma!

I hope this post will help someone see how much these kinds of little things mean to families like ours. Maybe you can do the same for a family in need in your community or your neighborhood or your church. Families like ours really see the heart of God when people reach out to kids like ours!

Curious to know....

2011-01-17T22:18:00.000-08:00

Are you a parent of a child or children with special needs and have quit attending church? If so, why? If not, what has your church done to accommodate your unique family situation and make it easier for you to attend? In what ways have you welcome or not welcome in your church?

If you'd rather answer this question anonymously, feel free. I have been thinking about this for a long time. I want to hear from you first, and then I'll share my thoughts.

2011-01-13T18:24:00.000-08:00

Zoya's dream came true this morning...She started kindergarten! For months she has been going with me to drop off the other kids off in the mornings and many times she had packed her own backpack and lunch wondering if today was the day mom would let her go. :)

We have been waiting on the IEP Meeting, which was finally scheduled for yesterday. (For those who don't know, an IEP is an Individualized Education Plan, for students who require special ed or extra services). She tested very low developmentally and academically so it was determined she will start out in special ed classes primarily, but will spend 1/3 of her day with typical kindergartners (lunch, recess, computer, PE, calendar/circle time, and music). In the typical class, she has Hope's teacher, and in special ed, she has Joseph's. She was soooooooo excited!

It was about 10 degrees out here, thus the red noses and panicked expression on Joseph's face. I am quite sure his nannies would never have allowed him to go outside in that kind of weather.

I'm sure you are wondering how her first day of school was......

The below picture of the progress reports from Mrs. Riggs will say it all! Let's just say Zoya got a ride on the dirt bike while Joseph watched!

2011-01-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

Last week my parents surprised us with an unexpected visit (I mean really unexpected!) Their main purpose was to spend some time with my 95 year old grandmother but we got to have them around here as well. They will be traveling to various places over the next few months so it was great to spend time with them knowing it will probably be another year before we can see them again.

We had fun sitting by the fire drinking hot tea and visiting after the kids went to bed. My parents still sit together and cuddle after 45 (or is it 46?) years of marriage. I like that about them.

And they brought us a present....their Great Dane.

Thank you Mom and Dad!! :)

She has a big bark, therefore she makes a great watchdog. But she's as sweet as can be. Welcome to the Urban Funny Farm, Layla.

Oma has always been very popular with the grandkids. :)

Evening times at around 6:00 are the highlight of everybody's day....Daddy comes home from work!! You should hear these two squeal when they see Daddy's white truck coming down the driveway. Zoya grabbed Joseph's neck and pulled him to the window, and said in her own Zoya-way.."Joseph! Look! Daddy's home."

Tonight Hope asked if she and Zoya could sleep in a cardboard box.

Oh what the heck.

Why not!

Breaking news

2011-01-10T14:19:00.001-08:00

Zoya weighs 25 pounds!

Our Christmas in less than two minutes

2011-01-08T07:44:00.000-08:00

Our family enjoyed this video featuring some of the highlights of our Christmas with the Koen and Camacho families. I hope you enjoy it too! Notice the credits at the end...Written by God. haha. Clever. Thanks Frikkie for putting it together ~~and for letting me steal it from your facebook~~!

Thank you!

2011-01-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

I'd like to thank whichever one of you clever blog readers suggested turning footy pajamas zipper-backwards to prevent all kinds of Down-Syndrome-mischief between bedtime and morning. It is working like a charm! No more morning surprises! Thankfully these two haven't figured out that they could easily help each other out of their PJs, even if they can't unzip their own. Shhh....Let's keep it that way, shall we?

Lots to celebrate

2011-01-01T21:06:00.000-08:00

Zoya was a New Year's baby and so we had something extra special to celebrate today. She is six years old. First, a trip to Walmart to get her ears pierced. She has been playing in my jewelry since she got home in August, trying to stick my earrings in her ears. She did not understand why they worked on my ears, Liesel's, Hope's, and even Ava's, but not on hers. Her face lit up yesterday and she said, "Yay!!" when I asked her if she wanted to get her ears pierced for her birthday so she could wear earrings like mommy.

The girls got on their fancy matching dresses for the occasion. When it was all said and done she had flinched just for a second but then she gave me a big smile and a thumbs up. Some random onlooker, a guy with multiple facial piercings, commented that she did better than he has ever done! Sadly she is very used to getting poked with needles.

Hope was so excited to be a part of Zoya's big moment. I about cried when I took this picture of Hope holding the mirror so Zoya could admire her beautiful new look. Zoya picked pink butterflies, of course.

Liesel and Joseph came along as well. Tell me if Joseph's expression doesn't remind you of how your husband looks while he is waiting for for you to finish up your shopping at Walmart. :) But it's Ok. He had a piece of paper (a return receipt) which always makes him happy.

We decided (it was Liesel's idea) to combine John's and Zoya's birthday celebrations. Poor John has a birthday immediately after Christmas and complains that he never got birthday cake and parties, and half the time his gifts got lumped together, wrapped in Christmas paper. "This is for Christmas AND your birthday." I am to blame as well, but who really wants to eat birthday cake or go shopping on December 27?

A little girl fishing on the hill, for Zoya, and a Fish in the Pond cake for John. The fishing pole is a little paint brush with a string tied to the end. I thought it turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself!

Just had to throw this photo in. Ava LOVES her Aunt Marlita. She is feeding her the worst part of her pizza, the crust.

I have no idea whether or not orphans in Ukraine get to celebrate their birthdays, but it was a first for US anyway, to get to be with Zoya on her birthday. If I think about it too much I start to cry. I wish I could have been there on the day she was born, to welcome her into the world!

She blew her candles out, then signed 'more' so we lit them again and let her blow them out two more times. Liesel said we should have let her blow them out six times, for every birthday party we have missed. Wish I would have thought of it before all the cake was gone.

Today I am a mother to FOUR six-year-olds. :)

Every morning Zoya wakes up singing a song. Every night she goes to sleep singing as well. Tonight she sang Happy Birthday to herself. I wish you could have heard it but we couldn't find the video camera. It was just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Zoya has enriched our lives. We are thankful that her mother gave her the gift of life six years ago, and we are thankful that she is ours now. Happy Birthday my sweet girl, and many more to come.

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P.S. I forgot to mention on my Christmas update post, Liesel is the proud owner of a guinea pig. He is as sweet as can be, which is why his name fits him so well....Prince Charming.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-31T08:50:00.000-08:00

I guess a few people noticed that my blog went private for a few days. Every now it is nice to have one's privacy and I appreciated one commenter who said that no explanation was necessary. Just know that we are all well and the blog is open again. I did enjoy hearing from people knowing we were missed. :) One person emailed me and said she had been logging in to check on Zoya's progress, and felt like she was watching The Truman Show, rooting for him as he escaped the bubble. haha. That comment inspired me to rent the movie for family movie night last night. What a great movie. Totally worth watching a second time, twelve years later, with the family.

BTW, Zoya is wonderful! The G-tube is my new best friend and definitely a help in the family bonding department. I haven't been terribly consistent about weighing her but I know she has gained at least a pound and a half since we came home from the hospital. That is my girl!

We had an absolutely wonderful Christmas! Here are a couple of random photos from the last couple of weeks (Gosh it's been a while since I've blogged!)

I love that my almost-teenager, who is starting to get peach fuzz on his upper lip, is still a good sport about sitting on Santa Claus' lap for this mama to take his picture.

Man that is a lot of Christmas stockings!

The absolute highlight of our Christmas was getting to spend a few days with our dearest friends, the Koens. They came all the way from South Africa and we were so honored to have them all to ourselves at Christmas time. What a blessing to celebrate with them and their sweet family. We love them dearly and feel their love as well.

As we anticipated, Joseph was far more fascinated with the wrapping paper than the little red motorcyle we bought him. We hoped that this gift would stop him from wearing the motorcycle helmet around the house, tugging on shirt sleeves and pant legs, asking for rides on the dirt bike.

As you can see, our plan didn't work!

Liesel is the most intuitive and observant person in the family, and by far the best gift giver. She puts a lot of thought into gift-giving (unlike me who would rather wax my own eyebrows than go Christmas shopping), and even invested her own money in making a lot of little Christmas wishes come true. Who knew a purple unicorn pillow pet would bring such joy to a little 6 year old sister!

Zoya was all smiles on Christmas morning. I learned through her broken English and speech impediment that Santa Claus did indeed come visit the orphanage, but he didn't bring toys, only lots and lots of candy. Every time someone asked her what she wanted for Christmas, her answer every time was "candy". She got much more than candy this year and it was so fun to see her enjoying her first Christmas with a real family. Precious.

More photos from our time with the Koens...

The boys got a cricket set from South Africa, and they had a blast learning to play cricket together. It really does look like a lot of fun although with all the sweets I ate over the holidays I couldn't imagine getting out there and playing with them!

Zoya absolutely LOVED Tina, and cried when she left. I think Tina needs a little girl of her own. Thank goodness for Skype to keep these two connected, because Zoya will certainly go through Tina-withdrawals otherwise.

The boys got some fake rubber cockroaches in their Christmas stockings. Let me just say there is nothing more fun than hiding a fake roach under your guest's pumpkin crisp, and watching their expression when they find it.

Thankful for good-natured friends that can take a joke. Of course I should have known that Frikkie would use it as an opportunity to gross us all out, telling us he eats giant cockroaches all the time in Africa. Check out Hope's expression. Ha!

Hoping you all had a wonderful Christmas celebrating our Saviour. Wishing you all a Happy 2011 as well. We truly have been so blessed.

We are home and doing well

2010-12-17T10:20:00.000-08:00

Whew! We got back from Little Rock late Wednesday night and I've been exhausted. So much to do, especially this time of year. I am apologizing in advance that nobody will be receiving any Christmas cards from the Urbans this year. It was a fleeting, momentary thought, but it just ain't gonna happen. Not this year.

I just have to say how impressed I was with the facility at Arkansas Children's Hospital, the doctors, the nurses, and just the overall care we received there. There was one minor uh-oh moment, when we were first admitted. The nurse looked at the chart and asked if Zoya had any other chronic health conditions other than cystic fibrosis. "Cystic Fibrosis??!! Ummmm....No, definitely not that. Next day I realized that her hospital band said "C F" next to her name.....caucasian female.....haha. Minor oops there!

Otherwise we were really happy with everybody and everything there. I was so glad I took Jude along. He was a tremendous help. John and the others held down the fort at home. Thanks to the Lorraines for letting us stay the night with them. Love their beautiful family.

On Monday we saw the whole cleft palate team. Everybody agreed that a feeding tube was necessary at this point. Below is a picture showing where she plots on the growth chart. As you can see she is way below the normal range for both her height and weight. In a little over four months she has gone from...and these numbers are fully clothed.... 21.5 pounds to a current 22.8 pounds. This is an average weight for an 18 month old baby. In order to even be in the bottom 3rd percentile for her age, she needs to gain at least 8 more pounds. Can you see the little dots that look a little bit like ants? That is the teeny tiny bit of progress we made at home these last few months-----the product of many mealtimes full of tears and tantrums. Sigh.

Anyhow.....she was scheduled for surgery the next day and now has a wonderful, glorious feeding tube!! I never thought I would be so happy and relieved about a surgical procedure as this!

The geneticist pretty much took one look at her and said his first guess is that she has fetal alcohol syndrome. With her history, and some of her facial features it was his best guess. Now there is no test to diagnose this, so basically everything else must ruled out before knowing for sure. Blood was drawn to test for multiple genetic and hormonal abnormalities. We will not have any definite answers for 6-8 weeks on that, so for now she has been diagnosed with FAS.

Now. Obviously this was very, very hard for me to hear. I mean, I was prepared for this but oh-how-I-hoped it wasn't true. For so many reasons. For one, FAS can affect so many areas in a child's life...relationships, behavior, mental and physical development. FAS is kind of an 'invisible' disability. Where it is just expected that kids with obvious disabilities, like Down Syndrome will have delays, kids with FAS are expected to function normally in their society. All of these thoughts have gone through my mind as we are thinking about her future.

Mostly the reason why I didn't want to accept the FAS diagnosis is because having that 'label' on her is a constant reminder that every single one of her issues, her struggles, is a direct result of being born to a mother who abused her own fetus with drugs and alcohol. FAS would explain the prematurity, the cleft palate, her smallness, as well as the anorexia. The geneticist explained that many times these children are literally born premature just to save themselves from the alcohol. How sad is that.....Makes me tear up just to think about it......Zoya being born 13 weeks early weighing less than two pounds.....to save her own life.

Anyway, it is what it is and it doesn't change a thing about how we feel about her or how much we love her. I just hate having the word "alcohol" having any association with any of my children, so now when we refer to Zoya as having FAS, let it be known that from now on, in our house, it means "Family Adores-her Syndrome". :)

Here is Nurse Emily, the amazing cleft palate coordinator nurse of Arkansas Children's Hospital. She was singlehandedly responsible for getting us short-notice appointments with a pediatric surgeon, a speech therapist, an audiologist, a dentist, an ENT, the cleft palate surgeon, a speech therapist, a nutritionist, and a geneticist and an HIV specialist. (I guess I might as well go ahead and say it since it is probably obvious at this point.) Emily was so great to work with and Zoya loved her. Zoya loved Emily's surgery hat so much, that Emily brought one for her the very next day. How sweet.

Here is my girl, waking up from surgery, sporting a new Mickey button. Her daddy calls it her tummy port. She really is the best little patient. Doctors are always amazed at how cooperative she is. By the way, while she was under anesthesia she got several cavities filled and her ears all cleaned out. 99% of patients with cleft palates need ear tubes but she has apparently outgrown her need for them, because a thorough examination by the ENT revealed her ears are clear and no surgery was needed. PTL.

I had to take this picture of Zoya talking to Simeon on the phone post-surgery. She was too sore to talk but she nodded her head and did sign language. She is telling him "I love you." :)

We are in full swing with feeds now. She is getting 4 cans of Pediasure per day, through her tube, plus whatever else she is able to take by mouth. It makes my happy maternal hormones flow to see the milk going through the tube and making her little abdomen protrude a little, just as it should have been all along. It is music to my ears to hear her say 'more milk'.

By the way, the best news of all is this: The cleft palate surgeon, Dr. Buckmiller, has scheduled a cleft repair for THIS COMING APRIL. She totally disagreed with the previous surgeon who said there wasn't enough tissue for the repair. Dr. Buckmiller said after a few months of solid nourishment under her belt she will be ready for surgery. The speech therapist was also encouraged about the potential she will have after it is repaired. I don't think we will have to go to Dallas after all.

For a point of reference, here is a photo of little Zoya the first day we saw her across the courtyard at the orphanage. She was waiting her turn to take a bath in the kiddie pool. This is the little girl that we fell in love with. We vowed to get her healthy and to help her reach her fullest potential, We have sure tried our darnedest but now finally feel that we are on the right track. Pray with us that she will be plump and healthy soon!

Back to Little Rock with Zoya

2010-12-12T15:51:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to quickly update. Tomorrow (Monday) we were able to get in to see a team of specialists in Little Rock for Zoya. I am praying we will finally have some answers soon. We may eventually go to Dallas for her cleft palate surgery, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity when it presented itself, to see a geneticist, nutritionist, surgeon, dentist and speech therapist, in addition to the craniofacial specialist, all on the same day. Thanks for your prayers, and I will post updates as I can.

Christmas Recital-Jude and Liesel :)

2010-12-10T07:35:00.000-08:00

Couple of other things about Zoya

2010-12-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

My computer time is so limited these days, so I haven't been able to respond individually to all the comments and suggestions and ideas, but I am taking notes and making phone calls and scheduling appointments, and I feel we are slowly but surely coming up with a good plan. Thank you all so much! I will keep you updated.

I wanted to respond to a comment that I got. I know it wasn't meant to be rude but I thought it was an opportunity to explain further about what I meant about Zoya and the possibility of her having FAS.

You mean you didn't know Zoya had FAS?! *I* can tell for crying out loud and all I've seen of her is pictures. She has such a "classic" look to her of a child with FAS.

We suspected that FAS might have been a possibility long before we even had Zoya's SDA appointment. We had seen photos of her that we had shared with friends, and we knew she had enough facial features that we needed to prepare for the possibility. We asked around and sought out FAS support long before we even adopted her. Just because I never mentioned the FAS before now does not mean we didn't know it was a possibility. I say 'possibility' because it has never been officially diagnosed. I have asked several doctors and none of them have given me a definite answer. Even the orphanage director shrugged his shoulders and admitted that while some of the physical features were present, and her mother did indeed drink while pregnant, he had personally never seen any other behavioral indicators of FAS. We determined long ago that we would love her, FAS or not, and that is just what we have done and are doing. Mostly I haven't mentioned the possibility of FAS until now because I felt the need to protect her. I didn't and still don't want to put a label on her that will always stay with her. For months I have avoided mentioning it here for this reason until I felt it was becoming a pink elephant in the room. How many of you saw it but were afraid to tell me? :) Then again, some of the features of cleft palate are similar to FAS so it is very hard to say for sure. It's my understanding that FAS is difficult to diagnosis but we plan on seeing a genetic doctor soon and hopefully he will be able to clear up the mystery.

So, if you were worried that we missed something, we have not! We will love Zoya just the same with FAS or without!

More about Zoya

2010-12-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who offered suggestions and encouragement about Zoya. The lesson to be learned is that sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise to admit your failures and ask for help. I was overwhelmed with comments and even private emails after my last post. I made some phone calls this morning and we have made a little bit of progress today. First of all we now have a prescription for Periactin, an appetite stimulant. Second, I am working with our insurance company to get a consultation with a dietician. (Meanwhile I have taken your suggestions to heart and am trying some new things at mealtimes and snacktimes). Third and most importantly, I am expecting a return phone call tomorrow from a nurse at the Craniofacial Center in Dallas. I had a lengthy conversation with her today about all of Zoya's issues and how every problem seems to be dependent on another. She was pretty confident Dr. Fearon could get her fixed up sooner rather than later. This was music to my ears! The Center works through a team approach, which means we would be able to see all kinds of specialists on the same day....a geneticist, a dietician, a gastroenterologist, an orthodontist, and a speech therapist. We are also suspicious that Zoya may have fetal alcohol syndrome. It would be nice to be able to diagnose this at the same time so that we can get her all the help she needs. The receptionist had said the first available appointment would be in about 2 1/2 months, but they felt they could squeeze us in sooner. Dallas is about 4-5 hours away but it would be well worth the drive if we could get some help soon!

I will never forget the first day we saw Zoya at the orphanage. She was getting her outdoor 'bath' in the kiddy pool, all the kids were naked. I remember how shocked I was to see every one of her ribs and her shoulder blades sticking out like a victim of the holocaust. My mother's heart went out with compassion to her, and I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to get her home and give her a real bath and real meals, and how quickly she would fatten up once I was her mother! Needless to say, I am disappointed. I am not disappointed in her, but I have just felt like a big failure in this area. All of my other kids love my cooking, and frequently want more, more. And this is good for a mother's heart. But constantly seeing Zoya turning nose up and pushing the food away, has been so hard for me. Especially after I have worked so hard to add the butter, the oil, the ranch dressing, the cream, or whatever, to increase calories for her. And then having to throw all my hard work in the trash. Ugh! Not to mention the fact that I JUST DON'T HAVE an hour every single meal to spoon feed her and play airplanes and praise her for every nibble that she takes. One night John very firmly required her to stay at the table long after everyone else had gone to bed, made her eat every bite on her plate. That night she ended up barfing it all up. I am here to say that is hard on the bonding between mother (and father) and child. So I am praying the Periactin will do the trick, OR that she will soon have a feeding tube......not just for Zoya's physical health but for my emotional health as well.

Random family updates.

2010-12-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

The four youngest are in bed asleep and John and the three oldest are in the barn working on the benches for the table. Very soon I won't be tripping over the 10 dining room chairs that end up in all kinds of weird positions around the table. (And Ava will no longer be able to tip the chairs over just to hear the loud sound it makes, yay) I just sent hot chocolate down to the barn for the boys, with Liesel. The house is so quiet, I didn't know what to do with myself. I guess it's as good a time as any to write a quick family update.

Jude and Liesel did great on their piano and guitar recital yesterday. John got it on video, I'll try to see if I can get it off his camera and post it. They have really found their little musical niche and it's fun that they can do it together, and it doesn't require a lot of driving around and being too many places as was the case when they were in soccer. Family activities have slowed down significantly and we have spent a lot more time at HOME since Joseph and Zoya came home and I'm starting to think that maybe that is how it is supposed to be. Truth be told I am LOVING not being involved in any sports at the moment. Although I realize that Simeon needs an outlet or he tends to be moody, fidgety, and destructive. I am thinking maybe football. There is a homeschool football group here locally that I think we'll check out for next year. Unfortunately homeschoolers in our state do not have the privilege of participating in public school sports as is an option in many other states. By the way, Simeon is doing so much better academically. Amazing what a pair of reading glasses can do!

Joseph is loving school! Sometimes on weekends he carries his backpack around the house signing 'school'. We are driving down the road and he sees a school bus, he goes nuts. His teacher says he is doing great, although we did get a note sent home last week that he was taking his clothes off, running around disobediently and hitting his teachers. :( I think his bad behavior was from staying up late the night before because for the most part he has gotten excellent progress reports. He insists on eating in the cafeteria, his teacher says. And when I pick him up from the bus stop he always...I mean always......tries to climb up into the bus driver's seat. It is obvious how badly he wants to drive that big bus. When I went to eat lunch with Hope the other day he waved at me from across the cafeteria, and nudged his aide and pointed to me, as if to say, "Hey, that's my mom.". Then he did his own little sign for 'hot' and gave me the thumbs up. So cute. Hope and I joined him at his table for the second half of lunch.

Zoya. Oh my dear Zoya. If anything is causing me anxiety right now it is my little Zoya. The more she gets to know us the more she refuses to eat. The one pound we all worked so hard for her to gain, she has lost again. She has produced a lot of different weights on a lot of scales, but my scale here at home says she weighs 20.5 pounds. She will be six years old in 3 weeks. When she isn't wearing clothes, she (still) looks like a walking skeleton to me. I can' t get her to eat most meals. I work and work to add calories to her food, but most of her meals just go to waste. I have discovered that she loves coffee. So I add Pediasure to it. She loves vegetables and salads, which I would love for any other kid except that she will not gain weight eating vegetables and salads. Ugh!! I have asked several doctors to consider placing a feeding tube in her. The doctors who can actually make the decision say it is not a medical necessity because she can eat. But being able to eat and actually eating are two different things. We have gone around and around from specialist to specialist trying to figure little Zoya and her problems out. We have been to 3 different oral/dental specialists trying to figure out a temporary solution for her cleft palate, until we can get her healthy enough for surgery. But nobody seems to know what to do with her. The Shriners/cleft hospital in Houston are apparently only taking babies at this time. So it looks like we will be seeking answers out of state for her. Probably back to Little Rock? Can we come see you Lorraine family??? :)

Ava is still loving The Little Lighthouse. We think she regressed a little bit, either while we were in Ukraine for so long, or since bringing two new strangers into our house. But she is starting to respond more to Joseph and to Zoya and it's fun to watch them all trying to nurture and take care of each other. I love that! Ava is picking up some habits, both good and bad, from Joseph, and vice versa. Hmmmm.

Hope has asked me to come help out in her kindergarten classroom. Zoya starts school at the beginning of the year (probably). I'm going to ask the school counselor if my big kids and I can volunteer once a week or so, tutoring or cafeteria duty, or something. Wouldn't that be fun? I did read to the kindergarten class one day a couple of weeks ago and always have fun hanging out with the kids at lunch time.

And John. How many times in a day do I think to myself how lucky I am. Who else would have traveled across the world and taken that risk with me, the risk of 'ruining our family' bringing all these little special little kids into our family. I am so glad he said yes. Yes we are busy. Oh so busy! Some days we hardly have a chance to say a word to each other all day, but somehow we make up for it here and there and after the kids are in bed. (And we still hold hands in church and in the front seat of our 12 passenger van with all the various sounds and activities going on behind us!) I feel so lucky, and I wouldn't trade places with any other woman in the world.

Antonio

2010-12-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

Our family is sponsoring Reece's Rainbow's "Antonio" for the Angel Tree this Christmas. Who are you sponsoring???

Fun times at the Urban household

2010-12-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving night, while we were out of town, we got a text from our babysitter/dogsitter saying that our dogs had disappeared from the yard. For several nights we worried and wondered where they might be. How sad we were to come home to an empty house with no wagging tails or wet noses to greet us. We put ads on Craigslist and called the local shelter. The dogs were not found for several days.

But I am happy to report it was a Homeward Bound ending, and both dogs are now safely home, thanks to a nice lady who found them wandering at a local business and took them home. She kept them all through the holidays and then called the vet's number on the rabies tag, which is how we finally located them. Needless to say we are so thankful for a happy ending.

We have an interesting dilemma----Nelly has gone into heat (which apparently triggered the sudden exploring) while Luke is a 'teenage' puppy with raging hormones. Fun times at the Urban house. Would you like to be a fly on our wall watching me and 7 kids trying to keep the dogs apart and the neighbor male dogs away. Interesting indeed.

Meanwhile I finally got around to scheduling them both for spaying/neuturing.

What do they call a cross between a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and a Labradoodle? John says a 'Chesa-doodle'.

More photos

2010-11-30T21:06:00.000-08:00

If you're ever in Sacramento, The California State Railroad Museum is a must-see! We thoroughly enjoyed it!

Strolling through Old Sacramento with the grandparents was memorable. It was a beautiful day.

Opa treated us all to Old Fashioned Taffy.

Liesel got special permission to spend the night with her great-grandma in the retirement center and ate breakfast with her the next morning. I have fond memories of spending the night with Grandma when I was about her age, so I was ecstatic that she would have at least one opportunity to do this. I called a couple of times the next day to check on her and she said she was looking at pictures with Great Grandma and would I please stop calling and interrupting her. Apparently they had fun together!

Zoya was absolutely mesmerized with Great Grandma's wrinkles.

I have always loved the view from my Uncle and Aunt's front yard. Can you see the vineyard across the street and the mountains in the distance? I spent a year with them while I was in High School so it almost felt like going back 'home' in a way.

We spent the day at their mountain cabin playing in the snow and then warming up by the fire afterward. How fun!!

Uncle Steve took John and the kids to pick the biggest and sweetest granny smith apples EVER. We brought home a bunch and have been enjoying cinnamon apples, apple crisp, and have plans to make apple salad. YUM.

Uncle Steve teaches mechanics and woodworking to High School students. Thank goodness he has developed a lot of patience. He even let Joseph help.

Jude and Zoya enjoyed the backyard tire swing together....

Grandma and the girls baked homemade rolls for Thanksgiving dinner. Even Grandma was cracking herself up as she couldn't remember whether she had added the salt, sugar, etc. She IS ninety-two after all! (Or is she 93, I can't remember?) We were all relieved when the rolls turned out not only edible but delicious!

After a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner Uncle Steve slipped out and soon after we received a surprise visit from SANTA CLAUS!

I absolutely loved how tenderly Santa interacted with Uncle Steve's grandaughter Jillian. How sweet.

The Grand Canyon!!! Don't worry, we only stayed long enough to snap a few photos. And if a monkey harness/backpack ever came in handy, it would be on a little boy with Down Syndrome at the Grand Canyon!

2010-11-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

"Aunt" Sharon is my mom's best friend and roommate from college (and a faithful reader and commenter on this blog---Hi Aunt Sharon!!) They lost touch eventually, and through the wonders of the internet have reconnected in recent years. It has been so fun to watch them become best friends all over again. The girls were so excited to get to spend the night with her the first night we arrived in Sacramento. They had fun playing with her cat, Sugar.

We got all the kids out of the van and bundled up, then walked a few blocks on a muddy sidewalk (Notice Ava took a spill-check out the pants), and took this photo of the kids, only to realize we were at the wrong museum. Ooops! Oh well it was still a fun memory made, and a photo worth posting, I think.

Pictures from our trip

2010-11-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

Since we switched all our photos to Picasa I have no idea how to upload more than 5 pictures per post. So bear with me as I make multiple posts about our trip to California and back.

Gee, I don't know why we got so many stares as we boarded the plane to Sacramento. I wish I could have video taped all the people who counted the children one by one as we walked by!

I am not lying when I tell you the kids were all great travelers! Ava held her daddy's hand almost the whole way, and kept looking behind her seat at me and giving me a thumbs up (a gesture she has learned from Joseph). Joseph sat in the aisle seat and groped people as they walked by. John kept reminding him that he was a passenger, not a TSA agent in training. :)

Zoya has the world's smallest bladder. I lost count of how many trips we had to make to the bathroom!

Hope is our little social butterfly. She saved a seat for her new friend that we met just before boarding. It sure is nice to get to sit by nice kid-tolerant people on long flights with children. As you can see, Hope and Sarah are now BFF.

New Header and Thanksgiving fun

2010-11-29T17:58:00.000-08:00

A big thank you to Nikki who designed a new blog header for me! How nice!! I had been debating whether to change it but I don't know how to do all that fancy photoshop stuff. Thanks Nikki for helping me out. Please check it out!

We are alive and well. Had a great Thanksgiving week with the whole family. Here are a few of the things that we did:

-Flew to Sacramento, CA (Yes, the WHOLE family) where we met my parents (AKA Opa and Oma) and spent the evening and night with our dear family friend, "Aunt Sharon"
-Visited the CA State Railroad Museum and strolled.......with 7 children and two grandparents...... through Old Sacramento, enjoying peanut butter taffee and early Christmas decor....a FUN experience
-Experienced the famous In-N-Out Burger...YUM.....wish they had 'em in Oklahoma
-Drove with my parents to Reedley, CA where we spent a few days in my aunt and uncle's guest house and enjoyed my aunt's and mom's wonderful Thanksgiving cooking and chased kids around
-Spent some quality time with one of the best Grandmas I know
-Picked some of the best granny smith apples I've ever had in my life
-Listened to my kids perform and my dad preach at my grandma's Sunday night church service at her retirement center
-Spent a day at my uncle's mountain cabin where the kids rode snowmobiles and had snowball fights
-Watched my boys learn to work with wood and metal, thanks to my Uncle Steve. We brought home a homemade knife, a handcarved "Jude", and a set of farm benches for my long dining room table (YAY).
-Received a surprise visit from Santa Claus (AKA Uncle Steve)
-Said a tearful goodbye to my 92 year old Grandma....Man I wish she was closer!
-Three-day road trip from Fresno to Tulsa, via 15 passenger van with Opa and Oma
-Took 7 kids to the Grand Canyon (Can we say STRESSFUL)
-Visited Grandma Urban in New Mexico, plus John's brother and family
-Arrived home late last night with a million and one things to get done today.....

Thanks to Opa and Oma for a super fun trip! Thanks for putting up with all the noise and bickering in the backseat, not to mention 101 potty stops for Zoya, whose bladder must surely be no bigger than a walnut!

Pictures coming soon.......

Down Syndrome sweetness...

2010-11-19T20:51:00.000-08:00

I got a text from John the other day on my cell phone that said this:

"I just got a phone call from the doctor's office with shocking news..."

"Joseph has Down Syndrome."

haha. I guess the blood results came back. Oh well! What is one more right?

I haven't been the best at taking and posting videos, but while I was out one Saturday, John emailed me these videos of Joseph and Ava. Notice Joseph almost always has in his hands a strip of torn paper that he enjoys flapping around. I'm not sure why he's so obsessed with tearing paper but let's just say we've had to hide all the important documents and have switched our homeschool curriculum to mostly computer!