My thoughts this Mother's Day.....

This Mother's Day I am thinking about.....birth mothers. Or "first mothers" as I like to call them. Ava brought this little Mother's Day craft and card yesterday. I have to tell you how my brain thinks as an adoptive mother. When I saw this, my immediate reaction was, Aw, how sweet!

And then my second thought was a thought of sadness for her first mother who has missed out on so many sweet moments, including this one. 

I do not know much about Ava's first mother but I know that her abandonment had everything to do with her believing she could not raise a handicapped child.

I imagine it must have been devastating for Ava's mother to leave the hospital without the child she carried for 9 months.  She must have felt terribly sad and guilty. There must still be an incredible void in her heart at times, especially on holidays and on February 20th, Ava's birthday.

I often wonder how things might have been different for that mother if her doctor had congratulated her on her beautiful baby girl, and had given her hope and resources to make her believe that she could raise her own child.

What if her husband would have put his arms around her and promised that he would help her, and insisted that their daughter belonged with them, not in an orphanage?

What if her society had accepted children with disabilities and had offered acceptance and resources and support to empower her to raise her own child.

Adoption is a wonderful, beautiful gift to a child who needs a family. I will always be an adoption advocate. As much as I love adoption, however, every one that takes always only because of a great tragedy and loss for at least two people, a mother and a child.

 These are the mothers I am thinking of this Mother's Day......

......Mothers like 13 year old Renise, a child slave in Haiti, whose story I watched on 60 Minutes. John and I were moved so deeply that we felt compelled contact the producers to find out how we could send her a love package. I will never view adoption the same way.....Click here to read Renise's story. I am pretty sure you will need a tissue or maybe two.

Our family is very happy to be involved in supporting a couple of different orphan care and family preservation programs. There are many organizations working to keep families together through tough situations. If you are an adoptive parent please consider being a part of these as well. There are programs like World Vision, who just announced their new micro-finance program, Global Orphan Outreach, Women for Women International, Children's Hope Chest. Even Reece's Rainbow through  Connecting the Rainbow, which is a program to help first mothers overseas raise their own children with disabilities by providing education, support and resources. Man, I love that!

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, adoptive and "first" alike!