November is National Adoption Awareness Month, and today is Orphan Sunday. It's been an emotional day for me, as I have remembered the orphans we met and left behind. We are so happy to have Joseph and Ava and Zoya with us, but this post is dedicated to the ones who are still waiting for a family to call their own.
When we met Joseph, and later Zoya, we had the opportunity to meet and interact with the most wonderful group of little orphan boys! I still think about these boys all the time. Zoya and I look at their photos and she waves at them and kisses the computer screen. These little boys would make wonderful sons!
I hugged and held these boys. I sang songs to them. I let them take pictures with my camera. I pushed them on the merry-go-round. We played playdough and did puzzles together. And I know there is a family, or families, who are missing out because they don't have these little boys in their lives.
They are all about five years old. They are cute, charming, sweet, and funny! Every one of them! And they are all available for adoption!
They are best friends. Practically brothers.
There is one more thing that they all have in common. It is the one thing that has caused them to remain orphans for so long. Three little letters that have kept them from getting families.
They all have HIV.
They all have HIV.
Meet Dillon......
Nick.....
Owen.....
Cole.....
Who will pick me, they ask? When will I have a Mommy to tuck me in and a Daddy to wrestle with me?Do they know that the reason adoptive parents come for their friends and not for them? Do they know that their HIV scares many people away?
Well I am here to tell you that HIV adoption is really not as scary as it seems. It is really quite do-able and a great blessing. There are medications now that can help these kids live long and healthy (and normal) lives, and HIV+ individuals can even now safely marry and have children with certain precautions being taken. It is only spread through very high risk activities, and never from child to child or child to adult.
......Yet they are still waiting.
How do I know for sure that HIV adoption is really a blessing and not a big deal? Because our family has done it!! And we would have missed out on the most wonderful blessing, had we been too afraid to say yes!!
Why am I telling you this? For three reasons.
Why am I telling you this? For three reasons. 1. First we are not ashamed and we do not like the feeling of keeping a "secret". Our HIV+ child, nor any other HIV+ child ever did anything to wrong to contract it, thus there really isn't a need to be ashamed.
2. We want to give you an opportunity to ask questions. I know you have them! I would rather you ask than just wonder. Please ask and I will answer as honestly as I can.
3. There are many, many HIV+ children waiting to be adopted. They DESERVE A CHANCE. Unless we speak out and tell the truth about HIV and HIV adoption, the ignorance and stigma will continue. We speak out on behalf of kids like Dillon, Owen, Nick and Cole.
For more information about HIV adoption, see Positively Orphaned.
To see a list of HIV+ children waiting for adoption, see Reece's Rainbow.
Again, please ask questions! I will be blogging more about HIV and HIV adoption soon. Hopefully I can answer some of your questions.
23 comments:
Charissa and John: I love your hearts that ache so much for these beautiful boys and others who are in a similar situation that you chose to be vulnerable in sharing this information. Clearly God prompted you, and you responded. Shared in such a loving, non-judgmental way. Wow. You guys humble me. You are honorable, and I am so glad I "know" you. You have and continue to, touch my life and challenge me to be faithful. Maybe one day I will have the opportunity to welcome such a special child into my life. If not directly, then at least I can do something to help another family do so.
So proud of you for sharing your life so openly with all of us. You are the voice of the children left behind. They didn't ask to be born, they didn't ask to be abandoned. We as Christians are called to care for the orphans, all orphans. I pray God stirs the hearts of many to ACT today as we speak out on behalf of the many children who deserve a family to call their own.
We just recently updated our HS to include HIV as we pray whether or not to adopt our girl's best friend who has HIV along with "our girl". I have a million and one questions, but cant think of how to word it. Would you be open to doing a post devoted to HIV... what meds, extra precautions, extra doctors visits, etc?
My heart is there, my husband's is coming along... I think he's more afraid that he doesnt know the buddy, more so than her hiv status...
I love you :)
I keep looking at two little boys that are HIV+ and they touched my heart and seared themselves into my mind. I'm trying to get DH on board. Could you do a full post dedicated to HIV? Maybe "a day in the life." Or what kind of "Maintenance" HIV takes. I really need some ammo to convince DH that it isn't as dangerous as it used to be.... or costly?
Those boys are absolutely precious. So sad they are in an orphanage over something they had no control over. Little Dillon's eyes are stunning :(!
Wow - fabulous post! I admire your family SO much.
I used to blog at PositivelyOrphaned.com (thanks for linking), but the site has moved to PositivelyOrphaned.org. These boys are SO precious! I would love to help advocate for families for them if that's okay. That would be so neat if your kids' friends could have families in the US and they all stayed in touch :)
You always make my day with your posts. I am so glad we are friends. You and your family are so inspirational!!!
Jan
Charissa -
You know how happy this post makes me! I cried this morning seeing "our boys" faces. We too look at them constantly and pray for them all the time. My heart aches for them.
I too would be happy to talk to anyone interested in HIV adoptions and to answer any questions that I might be able to.
Jaime
Positively Orphaned- I just updated the link. Thanks! And Yes! I'd be honored if you wanted to help me advocate for these sweet boys. When I tell you they are GREAT, I am telling you the truth! And for some reason children adopted from this particular orphanage adjust really well post-adoption.
WOW! You are truely amazing! You know i have spoke about adopting for a while but i am just not financially stable and not sure it will ever happen. But i commend you for ALL that you do! I had a feeling there was something more to one of your adoptions that you just weren't ready to share in your posts, but i know it doesn't change my opinion about ANY of your children. God bless you Charissa and John you two are AWESOME! :)
My children's favorite babysitter is HIV positive. The fear we were taught in high school health classes is not the reality. I am so glad that my children will grow up knowing the truth and not the lies we were taught.
I have always adored and loved the compassion of your family. I wish my children had just a small part of the giving spirit your children have. It says so much about you and John and your lives.
I am sitting here crying because I have always felt we should have come home with one of the children we saw in Ukraine. But we were young, childless and very scared of the future.
I look forward to reading more about HIV. Can you also tell us if the adoption process is faster as far as wait times? We had a horrible experience in Ukraine both with our agency and then in country. Not sure my husband would want to do it again so the more information you can share the better.
Thank you!
Nikki
One more question... On Reeces Rainbow, is there a way to tell in what country they are located? If we do adopt, we would prefer Ukraine so we can take our son back to see it. Thanks!
I can't believe you posted THESE PARTICULAR boys on your blog!!! I have been staring at their pictures forever. I just got back with my two cuties from UA 6 weeks ago and my husband is ready to go back now and get as many as we can. I love them. I would love to know more about their personalities, their abilities, etc. They are adorable!
Stephanie Carmichael
What a great day for this great post! I'm so proud of you! I'll be looking forward to hearing more about the maintenance/medical issues of HIV+.
Woot woot!!!! I'm so excited that you've decided to be open about the HIV! I know so many will learn from your experience! And personally, I look forward to being able to share with my daughter Kendi about other positive kiddos in the area. Eventually these kiddos are going to be tweens who want/need others like them to connect with!!! [Not sure if you've tried Dr. Chang yet but he really wants the kiddos to connect and become friends!]
Blessings!
Anita
www.gillispiefam.blogspot.com
Aww Laura and I wanna adopt Cole ! Too bad neither of us are 25 or married ! Maybe I can convince my parents to. ;) He is soooo cute. I cried when I read this & def want to go back and love on these kids ! I wish I could have been able to spend time with them while I was there. Love you guys !
AWESOME post- and thank you for being a voice! You are so right- they are missing out if they are letting HIV stop them from adopting these precious boys!
So beautiful! You opened my eyes to orphans I hadnt thought of. Thanks! Would LOVE for you to add your story to our Adoption Blog Hop!
I'm so glad you're discussing this. Too often, it's a topic that's swept under the rug.
Are both Zoya and Joseph HIV+ or just Zoya?
I too would be very interested to learn about the ins and outs of caring for an HIV+ child -- the "maintenance," the medications/appts., the cost, special precautions/measures, etc.
I would definitely consider an HIV+ child if/when we consider adoption again. The medications are only going to get better and it's just a matter of time until it's curable. In fact, it's no longer considered a terminal illness; it's been recategorized by the CDC, etc. as a manageable chronic illness or something to that effect.
-Truewell
Those boys are breathtakingly beautiful, and it breaks my heart that such a stigma remains that they are growing up without families. I thank you for giving a voice to children who can not speak for themselves, and for helping to shine a light of truth on an area of great need. I will pray that each of those boys finds a loving, accepting home. May the Lord bless you and keep you, May He cause His face to shine upon you.
Sooooo proud of you :)
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