Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I am really sick of reading comments from selfish and ignorant people who express that disabled orphans abroad should remain in their own country and not burden our system in America. I am tired of people suggesting that only children who were fortunate enough to be born in this country are deserving of love and a family.

I can only assume the people who leave these kinds of comments have never tried to adopt domestically before. Because if they did they would probably know that most kids in the foster care system will never be put up for adoption. Most of them will end up back with their families. The few that do get put up for adoption will most likely be adopted by their foster family or by extended relatives. The people who leave these kinds of comments surely have never researched mental institutions for orphans overseas and the conditions that exist in them. I'll bet those people have never actually inquired about one of the special needs waiting children from child welfare, because if they did they might have learned that a hundred plus other families had already inquired about that child and were hoping to be chosen to be his lucky parent. I'll bet they haven't looked into the requirements to adopt internationally. If they did they would know that prospective adoptive parents must prove themselves to be financially self-sufficient and must provide proof that their insurance will cover their adopted child/children's medical expenses. And I'm sure they don't realize that most government benefits for disabled children only apply to those adopted domestically anyway.

No, I'm sure they didn't know all of those things or else they wouldn't make such idiots of themselves by leaving comments like this:

"There are special needs children in this country who need to be adopted so I have a problem with someone bringing kids over from other countries like this."

"People think they are doing a noble and good thing, but they are in turn burdening this country which will therefore take much needed resources out of an American children life."

"Immigration should not allow these people to do this. Even if they have their own insurance through their employer or privately purchased, we dont need these kind of burdens being added."

"That's the LAST thing this country needs is more people from another country coming here to live off our underfunded over used Medicaid system!!"


Anonymous said...

WHAT?! *sigh*.
It's people like that who shout "give peace a chance!!" at war protests, yet say the same stupid ignorant stuff like that. With attitudes like that, we will have NO hope of EVER coming CLOSE to world peace.
God doesn't have borders. God doesn't care what country the orphans come from or where the orphans go to. Sheesh!

grammygwen said...

God's word says to help the widows and orphans. After my biological granddaughter with special needs passed away, God blessed our family with two orphans from another country. I feel that one of them probably wouldn't be alive today if he hadn't been adopted. They are both very happy and well loved. They do not get any kind of help from the government. People should get their information right and stop leaving nasty comments on kind and loving parents' blogs.
Gwen Robertson

Stephanie said...

:( Children are children no matter where they live. I have heard those same arguements... they make me sick. A child does not deserve less because they happened to be born in the wrong country. Our country was BUILT by people from other countries... coming here for a better life! Love has no borders!

Leslie said...

Unreal. I am speechless....almost. What a bunch of idiots. I just don't understand people sometimes :(

Monica said...

I have been hiding out here and reading for almost 10 months. I see an amazing family and you should be proud! God doesn't say His blessings and love are only for American children. Sometimes I think people have taken "God Bless America" too far. Jesus died for us ALL! He shed His blood so anyone could be adopted into His family. The same people who say these things are the same people who would never consider adopting any child, they just like to throw their close-minded thoughts into the ring. Foster-adoption is (in our state at least) nearly impossible. We have 6 bio-children, too many for them to consider us as serious. We homeschool, big red-flag! The foster system is a black-hole nightmare. We attended classes and have been told "reunification is always the goal." No matter if that parent has screwed up for years, the first passed drug test and they get visitation. Kids are put last and bounced from place to place for years. Our state's waiting child list is FULL of kids who are 8 and over, MANY are over 14. All because the state and the parents won't get out of the way sooner! Comparing foster kids to International orphans is comparing apples to oranges. Both need help and not enought people will step up.
We have 6 kids and one has serious medical problems (stroke, g-tube, etc), but he "looks" fine. People say stupid things to us all the time! My older boys (13 & 12) hate going out because people stare and comment. "Do they all have the same father?", "Do you have your own health insurance?", "How big is your house?", "What does your husband do for a living?". I couldn't make this stuff up!
I pray for these people because they are the ones who are missing God's love in their lives.
Walk tall Urban family!

Shelly said...

Some people are just sick and twisted, they will never know the true meaning of why we are on this earth if they keep that attitude. Maybe someday god will be able to guide them in the right direction, but for now.... Ignore their "stupid" words and continue to be the amazing family that you are!!! :)

The Spicer Family said...

I am so sorry, Charissa! I don't know how anyone could look at your family and not see the glory of God. You and John are doing what God created you to do from the foundation of the world. He calls some to adopt here, some to adopt there, some to help fund, some to cheer the adopters on. The key is to follow God's call for YOUR life and that you've done.

Love you so much, and miss you!


Anonymous said...

"It's people like that who shout "give peace a chance!!" at war protests, yet say the same stupid ignorant stuff like that."

Well, to be fair, I am exactly that kind of person, and I think the negative comments are abhorrent. I'm also not a Christian (or religious at all), but I plan to adopt my children when I am old enough because I feel as though it is my duty to help those less fortunate when I am in a position to do so. Not everyone fits a stereotype. :)

I understand that there are children in the United States who live in extreme poverty. In fact, I was one growing up. However, it is nothing short of ridiculous to suggest that the burdens placed upon poor American children compare in any way to the horrors experienced by orphans in the rest of the world.

Perhaps the people who are leaving such comments would be well-served to remember the words of Thumper from Bambi: if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.


Molly said...

Just had to echo M here

""It's people like that who shout "give peace a chance!!" at war protests, yet say the same stupid ignorant stuff like that."

Well, to be fair, I am exactly that kind of person, and I think the negative comments are abhorrent. I'm also not a Christian (or religious at all), but I plan to adopt my children when I am old enough. :)"

That pretty much just said everything I wanted to say. I work with kids with special needs and every time I get a hug from one, or see a kid score a goal in soccer, or perform in our camp play, I think about the thousands of kids who aren't given that chance. Who don't have the right to an education, to regular diaper changes, to care and love and respect. and I want to vomit. It makes me nausious thinking about how horribly these kids are treated. And I don't care if other people don't like it, but I'm going to keep shouting about them until every child has the opportunities that our kids in the US have!

Nana Robin said...

The world has to many ignorant people and too few loving families for all Gods children. I look at your family and all I see is love.

Anonymous said...

You know, Charissa, I wouldn't give these people a second thought. Seriously. ;-)

Quite simply, they're idiots.
They have no idea what they're talking about -- as you so clearly illustrated in your post.

A person in need is a person in need. Period. And further, a child cannot control where they're born, nor can they control what disability they're born with, or their family circumstances. They are truly victims of circumstance.

And unlike children living in the U.S. -- where orphanages no longer exist, and the conditions inside the few group homes for children that *do* exist don't hold a candle to the awfulness in an overseas orphanage -- the orphans living overseas are suffering terribly. They're dying of malnutrition, neglect and treatable disease. They're ***institutionalized for life*** because they have a treatable physical disability -- even if their mind is perfect!

This simply doesn't occur in the U.S. Sure, there are isolated cases, but they're just that -- isolated. This is the norm overseas.

So if you want to help someone, doesn't it make sense to help those who need it the most?

Seriously. Don't give these people a second thought. They're ignorant, cruel and extremely unhappy people. Their ugliness is so consuming that they can't help but spew awfulness and nonsense.

They're the losers, Chrissa. Your open heart and your open mind has led you to such joy and happiness -- and you can enjoy your family for the rest of your days. You're so fortunate!

The people who leave these comments? They're jealous. They're miserable. And as long as they keep a closed mind and a closed heart, they'll never find the beauty, love and joy that you've found. Never.

There's a special place in hell for these people. Really, there is. Or perhaps they're already there and that's why they spew such awfulness....

Milena said...

I just can't understand how selfish people are. All children deserve love from a family. All. Full stop.

I so understand that your heart hurt from those comments!

Anonymous said...

There will always be dunces around honey :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous,

(I am sure that's who you are because you aren't really brave enough to say things like that to someone's face)

Clearly you know nothing about adoption or special needs. Clearly you really don't have a heart for anyone but yourself.

I wish you could hear my husband rant about your ignorance. His take is that if we as Americans do not take care of the orphans and the widows, who will? We are the richest country in this world. One of the most blessed. How can we turn our backs on anyone in need, especially those in the position that the Urban children were in?

As far as immigration goes, how bout we just give everything back to the original inhabitants of this fair land? How bout we give it back to the Indians?

I could go on but I suspect you are too blind with hatred to see the real truth.

Charissa, you are an awesome family and you are rewarded each and everyday with the love of all of your children. How blessed you are! If only everyone were so blessed.


Lisa (DanielsMommy) said...

I am at a loss for words. What is wrong with people? People who make comments like probably have no friends because they are so hateful with a twisted warped sense of reality. Please don't let stupidity get you down. I LOVE to read about your families newest adventures!!!

Sherry White said...

Love you Charissa! Thank you for addressing this today. Even though I should know better than to let these things get to me, my heart still feels wounded reading those words. I was not going to get drawn into responding to them, b/c they love that, and would probably try to tear our famiy to ribbons all the more. But you know me, I couldn't let it go.

Zo said...

unfortunately, some people can be very selfish ... and the funny thing is that most of the time they themselves have not done anything speciall to make this country a better place and they just think that since they were born here they are entitled to everything, and others cannot have them since they were born somewhere else. These people are bunch of ignorant and racist people and thank God they are just the minority. This country has been built by immigrants and will continue to be the same whether they like it or not. These precious kids are your kids and it was you choice and right to adopt them and obviously you are the one who provide and take care of them, not sure why they give themselves the right to make such comments

Rachel said...

I am SO glad no one has said anything like that to me, or they would then be forced to LEARN THE TRUTH.
Seriously, anyone who makes a comment like that has absolutely no idea what they were talking about, or they wouldn't say such things. They're most often people who THINK they have the answers to all our problems, but in reality, they do nothing to help anyone.
My son is waiting for us in a country where he has not been given life-saving surgery. Each day his lungs and heart are more damaged; he's nearly 4 years old and is smaller than my one year old. HOW DARE anyone suggest that I leave him there to die, because THEY don't want the "burden"? What burden?? He is MY child, and I will be taken care of him! America, medicaid, etc. has nothing to do with it! I will GLADLY bear my "burden"!!
Whew, got a little worked up there! :) Charissa, I adore your family. Each of you is so beautiful, I hope you know that.

Justine said...

I am just stunned that you have gotten comments like that. Has anyone ever said anything similar to you in person?

Anonymous said...

Those who make such unkind and ignorant comments are the true "burdens", as they add to the weight of the world on the shoulders of those who DO try to make a difference.

Love your beautiful family...

Posting "anonymously" because of computer constraints but really Susan in Ky, cousin to two from U.

Bethany said...

I am so sorry that you have been subjected to such ignorance and hatred. What you and others have done is nothing short of saving the lives of children who otherwise would have no hope for a future. A child's life is no less valuable if it happens to come with a different passport. These people are so prejudiced against individuals with special needs, to automatically assume they are a "burden" and definitely not worth allowing to overshadow the beauty of your amazing children!!

JennyH said...

Wow! Did these comments go to you (or your blog)? Some people have no compassion.

I'm glad their are families like yours that step up and adopt children in other countries that otherwise would have no life.

Allison said...

I feel sorry for people that are ignorant and feel then need to leave unkind posts. I feel sorry for them because they will never know the joy and love of one of these wonderful children. Peace to you and your family, Allison

Gretchen Thibault said...

Aaah, yeah! They are ignorant and full of cliche's.....I will pray for them tonight...right now as I head off to bed.

I've adopted a child with DS domestically....there are so few...they are all aborted. Sad. Those poor little sweeties are such a blessing and people don't even know it. We do though, don't we?!

And yes, overseas adoption is exhausting...done it twice. All worth it. And yes, we pay for our own kids, AND everyone elses!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, it was hard to read those comments. It's appalling to think that we have people here who think like that.

Ditto what everyone else said!

Natalie said...

So sorry to hear that people even think this, never mind subject you to their comments.

So happy that there are many others in the world who take the contrary position.

Anonymous said...

wow.....amazing how someone's comments (and why the heck are they bothering to read your blog if they don't believe in the way a part of your family was created?!)can make me so mad and sad at the same time.
As a woman married to a man who is quadraplegic, have teid to have kids on our own for years, tried to adopt domestically for years and have been trying for years to adopt internationally, I highly doubt any of these rude, insensitive commenters has any idea how difficult adoption is in general, much less opening your heart and family to a child with special needs.
I read your blog regularly...and am amazed, entertained, and boosted by the life of your large wonderful family. keep at it
Kelley from Maine

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Charissa. I hesitate to say these people are idiots. They are probably ignorant of most everything you mentioned in your post. It's a good thing that you are not only bringing these misconceptions out in the light, but also being a living testamony to them. Keep it up! People need to hear why these ideas aren't practical, truthful or correct.

JKI said...

ah, nothing like the anonymity of the internet to bring out the ignorance that is lurking in the hearts of others. Shake it off as best you can secure in the knowledge that you are doing God's will, taking care of the least of these. I feel sorry for people who say special needs children are a "burden" on society. Guess what? We are all burdens at some point or another! We all were babies "sucking up resources" most of us will last to be old people, no longer "contributing to society" and God forbid something tragic happen to you or your family and you need a little assistance. Thank God we have and believe in a God of grace and that there are good people who extend a little grace to others. Your family is awesome Charissa, keep up the good work :)

JKI said...

ps- I in no way meant to imply that anyone is ever a "burden" I hope my sarcasm shown through on that one.... :)

Charissa said...

Wow! I don't think I have commmented on your blog before but I just can not believe these comments. I am so sorry that anyone would even believe such things. Children are children no matter where they come from and every single one of them deserves a family and the best medical resources. I am so sorry that you've had to deal with such mean comments. James 1:27 says it all! Bless you for giving a loving home and care to these beautiful treasures of yours!

Amy...who wanted 4. said...

When I hear stuff like this I always wonder what God thinks since we were made in His image.
It honestly scares me how many cruel people we share this world with.
People who would rather see these children suffer and die than be adopted in America.
They know they are wrong and full of darkness or they would not post anonymously. Just a plain coward with a heart of stone.

Christine said...

Sigh-- they must have come over from my blog-- although I must say they were quite polite with you. I'm sorry.

Jamie said...

Jesus said we were going to be persecuted for following Him. Take it as a compliment or even a sign that you are doing right the thing when hateful people say these things to you! \o/

I for one really admire you and other families like you that have chosen to bring a child into their families, regardless of how hard it is, and love that child just like your bio children. I really pray that we will join your 'ranks' one day! Keep up the good works, in His name and for His glory always.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Im so sorry :-(

Arizona mom to eight said...

I have read those types of comments after every news story about international adoption of a special needs child. They hear it somewhere, don't they, because it is a common sentiment. sigh. I could say so many things in response to their ignorant remarks, I have written rebuttals before, and deleted them. They will never learn until they open their eyes and hearts, and some will go to their graves with both closed. What can we do but pray for them?