Last week my parents surprised us with an unexpected visit (I mean really unexpected!) Their main purpose was to spend some time with my 95 year old grandmother but we got to have them around here as well. They will be traveling to various places over the next few months so it was great to spend time with them knowing it will probably be another year before we can see them again.

We had fun sitting by the fire drinking hot tea and visiting after the kids went to bed. My parents still sit together and cuddle after 45 (or is it 46?) years of marriage. I like that about them. 

And they brought us a present....their Great Dane. 

Thank you Mom and Dad!! :)

She has a big bark, therefore she makes a great watchdog. But she's as sweet as can be. Welcome to the Urban Funny Farm, Layla.

Oma has always been very popular with the grandkids. :)

 Evening times at around 6:00 are the highlight of everybody's day....Daddy comes home from work!! You should hear these two squeal when they see Daddy's white truck coming down the driveway. Zoya grabbed Joseph's neck and pulled him to the window, and said in her own Zoya-way.."Joseph! Look! Daddy's home."

Tonight Hope asked if she and Zoya could sleep in a cardboard box. 

Oh what the heck. 

Why not!

Breaking news

Zoya weighs 25 pounds!

Our Christmas in less than two minutes

Our family enjoyed this video featuring some of the highlights of our Christmas with the Koen and Camacho families. I hope you enjoy it too! Notice the credits at the end...Written by God. haha. Clever. Thanks Frikkie for putting it together and for letting me steal it from your facebook!

Thank you!

I'd like to thank whichever one of you clever blog readers suggested turning footy pajamas zipper-backwards to prevent all kinds of Down-Syndrome-mischief between bedtime and morning. It is working like a charm! No more morning surprises! Thankfully these two haven't figured out that they could easily help each other out of their PJs, even if they can't unzip their own. Shhh....Let's keep it that way, shall we?

Lots to celebrate

Zoya was a New Year's baby and so we had something extra special to celebrate today. She is six years old. First, a trip to Walmart to get her ears pierced. She has been playing in my jewelry since she got home in August, trying to stick my earrings in her ears. She did not understand why they worked on my ears, Liesel's, Hope's, and even Ava's, but not on hers. Her face lit up yesterday and she said, "Yay!!" when I asked her if she wanted to get her ears pierced for her birthday so she could wear earrings like mommy.

The girls got on their fancy matching dresses for the occasion. When it was all said and done she had flinched just for a second but then she gave me a big smile and a thumbs up. Some random onlooker, a guy with multiple facial piercings, commented that she did better than he has ever done! Sadly she is very used to getting poked with needles.

Hope was so excited to be a part of Zoya's big moment. I about cried when I took this picture of Hope holding the mirror so Zoya could admire her beautiful new look. Zoya picked pink butterflies, of course.

Liesel and Joseph came along as well. Tell me if Joseph's expression doesn't remind you of how your husband looks while he is waiting for for you to finish up your shopping at Walmart. :) But it's Ok. He had a piece of paper (a return receipt) which always makes him happy.

We decided (it was Liesel's idea) to combine John's and Zoya's birthday celebrations. Poor John has a birthday immediately after Christmas and complains that he never got birthday cake and parties, and half the time his gifts got lumped together, wrapped in Christmas paper. "This is for Christmas AND your birthday." I am to blame as well, but who really wants to eat birthday cake or go shopping on December 27?

A little girl fishing on the hill, for Zoya, and a Fish in the Pond cake for John. The fishing pole is a little paint brush with a string tied to the end. I thought it turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself!

Just had to throw this photo in. Ava LOVES her Aunt Marlita. She is feeding her the worst part of her pizza, the crust.

I have no idea whether or not orphans in Ukraine get to celebrate their birthdays, but it was a first for US anyway, to get to be with Zoya on her birthday. If I think about it too much I start to cry.  I wish I could have been there on the day she was born, to welcome her into the world! 

She blew her candles out, then signed 'more' so we lit them again and let her blow them out two more times. Liesel said we should have let her blow them out six times, for every birthday party we have missed. Wish I would have thought of it before all the cake was gone.

Today I am a mother to FOUR six-year-olds. :) 

Every morning Zoya wakes up singing a song. Every night she goes to sleep singing as well. Tonight she sang Happy Birthday to herself. I wish you could have heard it but we couldn't find the video camera. It was just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Zoya has enriched our lives. We are thankful that her mother gave her the gift of life six years ago, and we are thankful that she is ours now. Happy Birthday my sweet girl, and many more to come.

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P.S. I forgot to mention on my Christmas update post, Liesel is the proud owner of a guinea pig. He is as sweet as can be, which is why his name fits him so well....Prince Charming.

Christmas 2010

I guess a few people noticed that my blog went private for a few days. Every now it is nice to have one's privacy and I appreciated one commenter who said that no explanation was necessary. Just know that we are all well and the blog is open again. I did enjoy hearing from people knowing we were missed. :) One person emailed me and said she had been logging in to check on Zoya's progress, and felt like she was watching The Truman Show, rooting for him as he escaped the bubble. haha. That comment inspired me to rent the movie for family movie night last night. What a great movie. Totally worth watching a second time, twelve years later, with the family.

BTW, Zoya is wonderful! The G-tube is my new best friend and definitely a help in the family bonding department. I haven't been terribly consistent about weighing her but I know she has gained at least a pound and a half since we came home from the hospital. That is my girl!

We had an absolutely wonderful Christmas! Here are a couple of random photos from the last couple of weeks (Gosh it's been a while since I've blogged!)

I love that my almost-teenager, who is starting to get peach fuzz on his upper lip, is still a good sport about sitting on Santa Claus' lap for this mama to take his picture.

Man that is a lot of Christmas stockings!

The absolute highlight of our Christmas was getting to spend a few days with our dearest friends, the Koens. They came all the way from South Africa and we were so honored to have them all to ourselves  at Christmas time. What a blessing to celebrate with them and their sweet family. We love them dearly and feel their love as well.

As we anticipated, Joseph was far more fascinated with the wrapping paper than the little red motorcyle we bought him. We hoped that this gift would stop him from wearing the motorcycle helmet around the house, tugging on shirt sleeves and pant legs, asking for rides on the dirt bike.

As you can see, our plan didn't work!

Liesel is the most intuitive and observant person in the family, and by far the best gift giver. She puts a lot of thought into gift-giving (unlike me who would rather wax my own eyebrows than go Christmas shopping), and even invested her own money in making a lot of little Christmas wishes come true. Who knew a purple unicorn pillow pet would bring such joy to a little 6 year old sister!

 Zoya was all smiles on Christmas morning. I learned through her broken English and speech impediment that Santa Claus did indeed come visit the orphanage, but he didn't bring toys, only lots and lots of candy. Every time someone asked her what she wanted for Christmas, her answer every time was "candy". She got much more than candy this year and it was so fun to see her enjoying her first Christmas with a real family. Precious.

More photos from our time with the Koens...

The boys got a cricket set from South Africa, and they had a blast learning to play cricket together. It really does look like a lot of fun although with all the sweets I ate over the holidays I couldn't imagine getting out there and playing with them!

Zoya absolutely LOVED Tina, and cried when she left. I think Tina needs a little girl of her own. Thank goodness for Skype to keep these two connected, because Zoya will certainly go through Tina-withdrawals otherwise.

The boys got some fake rubber cockroaches in their Christmas stockings. Let me just say there is nothing more fun than hiding a fake roach under your guest's pumpkin crisp, and watching their expression when they find it.

Thankful for good-natured friends that can take a joke. Of course I should have known that Frikkie would use it as an opportunity to gross us all out, telling us he eats giant cockroaches all the time in Africa. Check out Hope's expression. Ha!

Hoping you all had a wonderful Christmas celebrating our Saviour.  Wishing you all a Happy 2011 as well. We truly have been so blessed.

We are home and doing well

Whew! We got back from Little Rock late Wednesday night and I've been exhausted. So much to do, especially this time of year. I am apologizing in advance that nobody will be receiving any Christmas cards from the Urbans this year. It was a fleeting, momentary thought, but it just ain't gonna happen. Not this year.

 I just have to say how impressed I was with the facility at Arkansas Children's Hospital, the doctors, the nurses, and just the overall care we received there. There was one minor uh-oh moment, when we were first admitted. The nurse looked at the chart and asked if Zoya had any other chronic health conditions other than cystic fibrosis. "Cystic Fibrosis??!! Ummmm....No, definitely not that. Next day I realized that her hospital band said "C F" next to her name.....caucasian female.....haha. Minor oops there!

Otherwise we were really happy with everybody and everything there. I was so glad I took Jude along. He was a tremendous help. John and the others held down the fort at home. Thanks to the Lorraines for letting us stay the night with them. Love their beautiful family.

On Monday we saw the whole cleft palate team. Everybody agreed that a feeding tube was necessary at this point. Below is a picture showing where she plots on the growth chart. As you can see she is way below the normal range for both her height and weight. In a little over four months she has gone from...and these numbers are fully clothed.... 21.5 pounds to a current 22.8 pounds. This is an average weight for an 18 month old baby. In order to even be in the bottom 3rd percentile for her age, she needs to gain at least 8 more pounds. Can you see the little dots that look a little bit like ants? That is the teeny tiny bit of progress we made at home these last few months-----the product of many mealtimes full of tears and tantrums. Sigh.

Anyhow.....she was scheduled for surgery the next day and now has a wonderful, glorious feeding tube!! I never thought I would be so happy and relieved about a surgical procedure as this!

The geneticist pretty much took one look at her and said his first guess is that she has fetal alcohol syndrome. With her history, and some of her facial features it was his best guess. Now there is no test to diagnose this, so basically everything else must ruled out before knowing for sure. Blood was drawn to test for multiple genetic and hormonal abnormalities. We will not have any definite answers for 6-8 weeks on that, so for now she has been diagnosed with FAS. 

Now. Obviously this was very, very hard for me to hear. I mean, I was prepared for this but oh-how-I-hoped it wasn't true. For so many reasons. For one, FAS can affect so many areas in a child's life...relationships, behavior, mental and physical development. FAS is kind of an 'invisible' disability. Where it is just expected that kids with obvious disabilities, like Down Syndrome will have delays, kids with FAS are expected to function normally in their society.  All of these thoughts have gone through my mind as we are thinking about her future.

Mostly the reason why I didn't want to accept the FAS diagnosis is because having that 'label' on her is a constant reminder that every single one of her issues, her struggles, is a direct result of being born to a mother who abused her own fetus with drugs and alcohol. FAS would explain the prematurity, the cleft palate, her smallness, as well as the anorexia. The geneticist explained that many times these children are literally born premature just to save themselves from the alcohol. How sad is that.....Makes me tear up just to think about it......Zoya being born 13 weeks early weighing less than two pounds.....to save her own life.

Anyway, it is what it is and it doesn't change a thing about how we feel about her or how much we love her. I just hate having the word "alcohol" having any association with any of my children, so now when we refer to Zoya as having FAS, let it be known that from now on, in our house, it means "Family Adores-her Syndrome". :)

Here is Nurse Emily, the amazing cleft palate coordinator nurse of Arkansas Children's Hospital. She was singlehandedly responsible for getting us short-notice appointments with  a pediatric surgeon, a speech therapist, an audiologist, a dentist, an ENT, the cleft palate surgeon, a speech therapist, a nutritionist, and a geneticist and an HIV specialist. (I guess I might as well go ahead and say it since it is probably obvious at this point.) Emily was so great to work with and Zoya loved her. Zoya loved Emily's surgery hat so much, that Emily brought one for her the very next day. How sweet.

Here is my girl, waking up from surgery, sporting a new Mickey button. Her daddy calls it her tummy port. She really is the best little patient. Doctors are always amazed at how cooperative she is. By the way, while she was under anesthesia she got several cavities filled and her ears all cleaned out. 99% of patients with cleft palates need ear tubes but she has apparently outgrown her need for them, because a thorough examination by the ENT revealed her ears are clear and no surgery was needed. PTL.

I had to take this picture of Zoya talking to Simeon on the phone post-surgery. She was too sore to talk but she nodded her head and did sign language. She is telling him "I love you." :)

We are in full swing with feeds now. She is getting 4 cans of Pediasure per day, through her tube, plus whatever else she is able to take by mouth. It makes my happy maternal hormones flow to see the milk going through the tube and making her little abdomen protrude a little, just as it should have been all along. It is music to my ears to hear her say 'more milk'.

By the way, the best news of all is this: The cleft palate surgeon, Dr. Buckmiller, has scheduled a cleft repair for THIS COMING APRIL. She totally disagreed with the previous surgeon who said there wasn't enough tissue for the repair. Dr. Buckmiller said after a few months of solid nourishment under her belt she will be ready for surgery. The speech therapist was also encouraged about the potential she will have after it is repaired. I don't think we will have to go to Dallas after all.

For a point of reference, here is a photo of little Zoya the first day we saw her across the courtyard at the orphanage. She was waiting her turn to take a bath in the kiddie pool. This is the little girl that we fell in love with. We vowed to get her healthy and to help her reach her fullest potential, We have sure tried our darnedest but now finally feel that we are on the right track. Pray with us that she will be plump and healthy soon!