Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Kind of down-in-the-dumps

Last week a random stranger, a middle aged woman working at the pediatrician's office no less, scolded me for shaving my daughter's head for the summer. Really???? I wished I was witty enough and bold enough to come up with something snarky but instead I started crying.

Speaking of crying, I have been doing a lot of that lately. My floors, which were only supposed to take 4 or 5 days to complete, are now going on two weeks. Now keep in mind there is no furniture in my house except for crammed into bedrooms and on the porch. No tables, no couches, nothing. Just bare, untreated and unsealed concrete. Because of the water used to clean the floors and the fact we had to remove all the baseboards we are now learning that in addition to replacing the floors, we are going to have to repaint all the walls, replace ALL the downstairs carpet , and replace all the baseboards (several of them crumbled while we were trying to remove them). There are permanent spots all over the concrete, from some chemical reaction that took place seemingly from whatever the last people used, which may or may not be hidden when they try to re-stain tomorrow. I have been without a way to cook for almost two weeks, and I've been dragging my neverending piles of dirty laundry every couple of days 20 miles away to my sister's house.

Thank you dear sister.

NOT to mention, our sofa and a living room chair, that were outside on our covered porch, have been chewed to shreds by our very sweet but very destructive dog.

The thing is, it bothers me how much this has affected me. How SAD, how down in the dumps I feel over it. How upset and cranky I am. It is nothing life-threatening, nothing urgent. They are just floors after all, just baseboards, just a couch. The couch was old anyway. The carpet needed to be replaced anyway. Why can't I do like my mom suggested and set up the camper stove and pretend we are camping out? It doesn't bother my husband or kids, so why does it suck all the joy out of me?

I had a talk with a friend today, and I told her what my life is like right now, and I told her how bad I felt for all my grumbling and complaining over it. After all, don't people live with far fewer conveniences and with far more stress than this? She said the magic words, "Oh that would drive me crazy! I don't know how you are holding up." Thank you dear friend, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I am not crazy after all.

I got the sweetest care package in the mail yesterday, from a person that I do not know in real life but she still feels like a sister to me. She knew some of the struggles that I have been having lately, and she sent me the sweetest note along with a box full of her "favorites". Favorite magazine, favorite book, favorite chocolates, favorite snacks, favorite lipgloss, favorite nail polish, even her favorite toothpaste and mouthwash! Amazing what kindness like this can do for one's spirits. Thank you, friend. I feel your love. :)

I know I have so very much to be thankful for, my wonderful Saviour, my sweet family and wonderful friendships. I don't know how people make it without them.

I am praying and asking the Lord to give me a new attitude. (And Lord while you're at it how about a new floor, new baseboards, new carpet.....and a new couch to snuggle my new son!)

26 comments:

little dalene said...

Just tell me and Becca where this lady works. We are very snarky. Or we'll just punch her in the face because we're a little violent too. :)
P.S. You have more patience than anyone I know!

Christine said...

Oh Charissa, I had one of those weeks last week. When it rains it feels like it is pouring. Big hugs. How are things with Joseph? Can that be contributing to how you are feeling?

Angelique said...

Bless your heart (if you can't tell I'm southern).

Sometimes it feels like life throws everything at you at once and then you wake up one morning and everything seems perfect again--praying for you to wake up to "that morning" tomorrow. Until then trust me when I say, we understand.

As for that rude woman--if you hold her down I will shave HER head for the summer, just for you.

You are in my prayers tonight. GOD Bless, Angelique

Charissa said...

Anglelique and Dalene-
:)ha

Christine-Yes. I think there is hope for Joseph though. Stay tuned...

Anonymous said...

I'm one that would have already packed up and moved to hotel for a few days. So, no you are not crazy and you're taking it better than I would have if my couch was chewed up. I agree with little dalene, you are one of the most patient people I know in cyber space!

As for snarky, I usually come up with great snarky comments AFTER the fact. Unless I'm having a week like you, then I follow Little Dalene again and punch 'em.

Ease up on yourself. It's okay to let it out and cry and scream. YOu won't scar the kids and you might feel better. You are very stressed. Don't heap any guilt on top of that.

Good luck my friend. Hope you get some peace in your life soon.

Jan

Shelly said...

Charissa i know we are only "soccer moms" to our boys, but you are one of the strongest women i know! Hold your head high all the time, even when the tears are streaming down your face. That shows you are strong too, strong enough not to hide it! Keep up the good work and you are always in my prayers. I'll say a little pray for the floors and couch too :) Waiting for Joseph to come home....

breanna said...

oh after just living in a basement, raw concrete, studded walls, hardly a kitchen set up, etc. for 6 months...

it's only natural to feel like you are losing your mind! it's ok! i think it's a good thing!!! isn't that what we as women and mother's and wives are supposed to do? create environments for our family's to thrive, a home!!! structure, stability...

but i will be praying for you! for you to find joy in the little things. to somehow over look the chaos around you and bask in the knowledge that it is temporary. thankfully!!!

Tim Rovenstine said...

Zippity Duu...Dah...Zippity Day. I've got a feeling, this is going to be a good day.

MoonDog said...

What amazes me is how people can think its any of their business how your childs hair is or isnt? Im sorry things are so rough right now. Must be the spring weather as I am in the same place and we just replaced our carpet in the basement a year after flooding, I should be ecstatic. instead I feel tired and cranky and tearful over stupid stuff. hang in there Mama. This too shall pass.

Jill said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvQ0Sj6Qm_Y

(((HUGS)))

Molly said...

I feel ya. And I feel the same way...guilty about feeling down. I've got a MILLION things that bless me. Why am I letting this keep me down? I am praying for you and look forward to hearing what God is doing with your family and sweet Joseph.

{{{HUGS}}}

JKI said...

Charissa, I would be insane. Truly. That house disruption would drive me literally up the wall. And that comment....!!!!??? (sigh) Just what you needed and when, right? (sarcasm)

Woman, we need to get you some floors! If I knew how to refinish concrete floors, I would fly to OK myself and make it happen. Since I don't, I will send you a hug and a prayer. Things will look up soon, I have a feeling.... In the meantime, know your perservance, strength, and big heart are an inspiration to me :)

Anonymous said...

Chances are your husband and kids are not nearly as inconvenienced by these changes. Hope it ends for you soon.

Jess

Kelsie said...

I am not sure how much I can help, but I love you and I'm praying for you, Charissa! You're a role model for the mom I want to be when I grow up. :) My mom is always saying after she reads your blog that you seem like such an amazing mom and you have everything so together and she doesn't know how you do it. And when I grow up I want to be just like you, with lots of kids to love. <3 And when I'm an occupational therapist I'll have you and Ava to thank for starting me down that road! <3

Tom & Peggy said...

I think you owe it to the pediatrician to let him know what kind of help he has working for him. Write a nice letter but be firm and tell him how his help was very inappropriate.

I didn't think I taught my children to be snarky but maybe I did but I did not teach them violence - but maybe I might ignore it this one time.

As in words of your father - you are building memories. Your children will remember when they ate sitting on the floor and your being creative with meals.

Aunt Peg

Charissa said...

Thanks everyone who left such nice and funny comments. Every one of them made me smile.

Anonymous said...

ps- I would complain to the ped. too. I have never been a big complainer, but now that I work in the healthcare field, most drs would be horrified if they knew someone said something rude or inappropriate. Think of it as saving the next mom from having to hear something like that.

Zack, Jenn and William said...

In our ladies' bible study Wed nite, one of our pastors' wives taught on the spiritual discipline of prayer. One of the things she said she prays is... "God, if you're not going to change the situation, then please change me." I thought that was a great way to put it!

I'm praying for you - that this storm (or these stormS) will pass, and that God will enter you into a season of joy!

Jenn

jennifer... said...

Are you SURE it can't be in May sometime???.....

Oh Johnny, dear Johnny, hear how sweetly I sing to you....

:)

Justine said...

Oh, Charissa! It is not just the floors! You have had more on your plate than I can imagine and the floors/couch/baseboards were just the final straw. You will make it through, but please don't feel bad for being bothered by it. I am praying for you! Hang onto Jesus! This too shall pass!

Shea said...

~Hugs~ my sister in Christ. I'll say an extra prayer for you!

soontobemomof9 said...

Oh MY! The pics of your girls below are adorable! Little Ava... you are just as cute as can be!

I would be going nuts to Charissa, but my kids would be loving it! And probably roller skating and skate boarding room to room! :)

If it helps, I am about as down as I can get. This adoption stuff, it wreaks havoc on our emotional stability... just when I think I am doing pretty well... one tiny little cheesy commercial and I am bawling like a baby! I started crying at church last night during a song about Gods greatness and how He never leaves us. We sing this song all the time, suddenly my voice squeaks and I am all tears *sigh*. Embarrassing, even in the darkened room!

Hang in there... hopefully your house being in disarray and your this adoption journey being such an unknown is just a short season in your life that will end in brilliant JOY!

Praying for you!

Mary Beth said...

I'd like to come see you and give you all a big hug.

Anonymous said...

I miss you!!! Come on out and play. Please.

Jan

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart, Charissa...
God has a big shoulder to cry on and He's totally OK with it.
You are doing so great and I honestly don't know anyone else that could carry what you have and not breakdown now and then. But, we also know that at the end of this season you will have joy again. You'll see.
Love and hugs, Aunt Sharon

These are the days... said...

Miss hearing from you about your family. Your stories always put a smile on my face. I know life has given you a rough time lately and I pray things get better for you.