Thanks to everyone who offered suggestions and encouragement about Zoya. The lesson to be learned is that sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise to admit your failures and ask for help. I was overwhelmed with comments and even private emails after my last post. I made some phone calls this morning and we have made a little bit of progress today. First of all we now have a prescription for Periactin, an appetite stimulant. Second, I am working with our insurance company to get a consultation with a dietician. (Meanwhile I have taken your suggestions to heart and am trying some new things at mealtimes and snacktimes). Third and most importantly, I am expecting a return phone call tomorrow from a nurse at the Craniofacial Center in Dallas. I had a lengthy conversation with her today about all of Zoya's issues and how every problem seems to be dependent on another. She was pretty confident Dr. Fearon could get her fixed up sooner rather than later. This was music to my ears! The Center works through a team approach, which means we would be able to see all kinds of specialists on the same day....a geneticist, a dietician, a gastroenterologist, an orthodontist, and a speech therapist. We are also suspicious that Zoya may have fetal alcohol syndrome. It would be nice to be able to diagnose this at the same time so that we can get her all the help she needs. The receptionist had said the first available appointment would be in about 2 1/2 months, but they felt they could squeeze us in sooner. Dallas is about 4-5 hours away but it would be well worth the drive if we could get some help soon!
I will never forget the first day we saw Zoya at the orphanage. She was getting her outdoor 'bath' in the kiddy pool, all the kids were naked. I remember how shocked I was to see every one of her ribs and her shoulder blades sticking out like a victim of the holocaust. My mother's heart went out with compassion to her, and I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to get her home and give her a real bath and real meals, and how quickly she would fatten up once I was her mother! Needless to say, I am disappointed. I am not disappointed in her, but I have just felt like a big failure in this area. All of my other kids love my cooking, and frequently want more, more. And this is good for a mother's heart. But constantly seeing Zoya turning nose up and pushing the food away, has been so hard for me. Especially after I have worked so hard to add the butter, the oil, the ranch dressing, the cream, or whatever, to increase calories for her. And then having to throw all my hard work in the trash. Ugh! Not to mention the fact that I JUST DON'T HAVE an hour every single meal to spoon feed her and play airplanes and praise her for every nibble that she takes. One night John very firmly required her to stay at the table long after everyone else had gone to bed, made her eat every bite on her plate. That night she ended up barfing it all up. I am here to say that is hard on the bonding between mother (and father) and child. So I am praying the Periactin will do the trick, OR that she will soon have a feeding tube......not just for Zoya's physical health but for my emotional health as well.