Future wedding slideshow photos and stories

Two years ago, when Hope and Ashton were 2 and 3, they kissed each other. It was really cute and innocent. The problem is, they both have older brothers and sisters who will never let them forget it happened. Ashton's parents are our good friends, so on the 4th of July weekend our two families set up tents on our property and "camped out" together (Dads and kids in tents and Moms and babies in the house). When my friend Jill came out last week (Hi Jill!), Hope said to her:

"Hey guess what? I slept with a boy and kissed him on the lips!"

Three years later these two are still just as fond of one another. I asked Ashton recently why he holds Hope's hand all the time. He said, "Because I love her. I'm going to marry her someday."



Yesterday I got to babysit Ashton and his three brothers. Hope and Ashton went to the barn and found our first egg!!! You would have thought the rapture had come by all the whooping and hollering that was heard over this brown egg. But what does one do with the very first egg? It turns out there was quite a controversy over what should be done. I felt like it would be perfect in some blueberry muffins. John thought it would be best in an omelette. A couple of the children thought it should stay in the barn to be raised by its mother.

But these two decided to make a "nest" out of feathers and put it under a heating lamp (AKA big brother's bedside reading lamp) and insisted that it was "going to hatch any minute-and be quiet-it's moving.....Oh wait, it is cracking." With a little help from a 4yr. old and 5 yr. old, it did crack alright. I can't even begin to describe the utter disappointment these two experienced when they saw that there was no fluffy yellow chick after all but only a gooey mess.

Is it terrible that I keep collecting photos like these and labeling them:

"For Hope and Ashton's wedding video" ?

Addy and John

The internet has many great uses, but my favorite by far has been connecting with other adoptive families, particularly special-needs adoptive families. One such family is the Heflin family who adopted little Addy two years ago. I have wanted to meet Addy for so long. Today was my lucky day.

Unfortunately, Addy wasn't as excited to meet me as I was to meet her. She wasn't very fond of all the toys my kids kept shoving in her face or the pinches that Ava kept giving her on her legs. She didn't care for my singing or the way I put a book on my head in an attempt to make her laugh.

She did, however, find one Urban who made her smile. :) Isn't she adorable?

Life's hard lessons

Ava learned last week that if you're going to sign while swinging, it is best to do it with your arms wrapped around the outside of the chains.

Laughing to keep from crying!

Well as my grandma always says, I am laughing to keep from crying!

We endured 27 hours of foster care training, 2 medical checkups, 3 home study visits, 2 background checks, got fingerprinted, bribed 6 people into writing reference letters, coerced 3 different families to babysit, and drove a total of 270 miles.....Only to find out this week that we took the wrong class!

HA HA HA HA. See? Laughing to keep from crying.

We had been very clear all along to our home study worker (who came out three times) and to our two instructors (who we saw a total of 9 classes) that our plan was to do emergency foster care for the next year or so until our adoption was complete. All 3 workers said it was great, there was a great need for emergency foster parents, that would be perfect, etc. No problem.

So on the day of our last session I called the caseworker to tell him we were done with the training, the homestudy was being processed, we are anxious to begin emergency foster care, Now what do we do next? The conversation went something like this:

Caseworker: "Emergency foster care?"

Me: "Yes, we decided that would be the best route since we are adopting internationally and we aren't sure how long it will be before it is completed."

Caseworker: "Well if you want to do emergency foster care you have to go through the Bair Foundation."

Me: "Are you serious?? Of all the people we have been meeting with over the last 9 weeks, why did nobody mention this before?"

Caseworker: "Well they don't really know how DHS works. They are just contracted to teach the class and to do home studies but they really don't work for DHS."

Me: "They are contracted by DHS but they don't know how DHS works?"

Caseworker: "Yes, I'm sorry for the miscommunication".

Me: "Oh".

I did call Bair Foundation to see if PLEASE PLEASE could they use our DHS paperwork and training. I was told no, we would have to take the classes all over again, do a home study all over again, etc.

So apparently we won't be foster parents after all. :(

I want to say, however, this experience has really opened my eyes to the problems in the system. There was a boy on the panel on the last class who was 17 and getting ready to age out of the system. He has been in foster care since he was FOUR MONTHS OLD!! I cannot understand WHY a child, who could have EASILY been adopted at 4 months, would have to spend his whole life in foster care. I know the goal is to reunite a child with his birthparents but there has to be a point when you say enough is enough and it's time to find this poor kid a family already!! This kid admitted he was getting ready to drop out of high school and didn't know what he was going to do after that. All I could think about was what if somebody had gotten to him, mentored him, loved him earlier. I shudder to think of what will become of this boy with no high school diploma, no guidance, and nobody to call his own.

Because of our family size we will no longer be able to do foster care. I do hope that at least one family who happened to read all the way to the end of this blog post, especially after reading the last paragraph about the boy about to age out with nobody to call his own, will consider being a foster parent in my place. (Just be sure to take the right class!) :) A child needs you!!!

P.S. To those who wrote reference letters or babysat: I'M SORRY!!!!

Orphans Deserve Better

I just signed a petition to urge Warner Brothers to contribute a portion of the proceeds of the movie Orphan to help the boys and girls who share the movie's name.

Orphan is a horror movie depicting a 9 year old orphan girl who haunts her adoptive family and everyone she comes into contact with. Please go here to sign the petition. You will also have an opportunity to share your own orphan story on the site (which I did) and read other families' orphan stories. Please spread the word about this important message. Perhaps this attack on the most vulnerable children can be somehow turned around to actually help them.

Dear Princess Snowflake,

(sorry, I meant Gideon),

I hope you have been enjoying your stay here with us here on the farm. You do realize you can go back to wherever you came from whenever you want, right? We are, however, getting awfully attached to you. Even Mr. John said yesterday how glad he was to see you outside chasing mice. I do hope you decide to stay. (Especially since I spent $175 getting you de-flea'ed, de-wormed, and vaccinated). You may not like us too much though after your surgery next week. Did I forget to mention that?

I'm sorry we keep referring to you as a "she". We can't help it. You just look so cute....so pretty....in little doll dresses and hairbows. Thanks for being such a good sport about it.

We love you,

The Urban Family

P.S. Just a friendly reminder-You are an outside cat!

Our Weekend

We had a great weekend celebrating....

family......

fun........
food..........
freedom...........
and friendship....................
How was yours?