I would be lying if I told you I was not a wee bit nervous about adding three children to our family at once. I guess I just lied a little, because "wee bit" nervous is quite an understatement.
I am not naive, I know there will be many adjustments for our current family. We ventured out once and did a special needs adoption. Now we are adding to the mix a toddler and two older children all at once, and transracial and transcultural on top of that. I'm bracing myself for more mouths to feed, more laundry to do, more arguments to break up, more attitudes, more valuables broken, more dirt to sweep off the floor, more smudges on the windows. There will be more noise, more kids to get out the door, more clothes to buy. And I will probably grieve the loss of facebook and blogging for awhile!
(Then again, I see in my future more kisses and hugs, more snuggles, more laughter, more playmates, more character building, more built-in babysitters, more sibling ties, more cultural experiences.)
When I put myself in their shoes, I feel pretty overwhelmed, thinking of the big changes that will soon be happening to them. Do they want to be adopted? I am sure the answer is yes. But are they prepared for all the changes they will soon experience? I bet they feel just as unprepared as I do. They will have to learn new rules and boundaries, a new language, be immersed in a totally new culture, call complete strangers......white strangers...... Mom and Dad, learn the names and habits of their new...white brothers and sisters, learn to adapt to different kinds of foods. And oh, can you imagine how much they will grieve over the loss of the only place they ever knew as home?
My friend Heather reminded me how much easier Ava's adoption was than we thought it was going to be. I am praying that this will be the case now too.
But just in case, I ordered several books today on older child adoption, toddler adoption, parenting the hurt child, and even some children's books on adoption. I have so much reading material that I shouldn't even notice the wait (perhaps?).
By the way, I feel tremendously blessed to be doing adoptions at a time when there are so many valuable resources.....books, blogs, chats, yahoo groups. Seriously how did people used to do it? I have learned so much from you, my dear internet friends. Thank you.
I plan to spend some time on my knees these next few months asking the Lord to give us every bit of wisdom and grace we all need to
Thanks again for your support, blog friends, and thank you for keeping our family in your prayers.
9 comments:
I am sure you are more than upto this new challange and how your kids have already shown they are ready for the next step in your lives
I think your concerns are valid, but what keeps coming to my mind is that our GOD is BIGGER than every one of those challenges. Not that you don't want to try and best prepare yourself for those things, but it's going to be a hard balance to remember that you'll never be ready for what God's about to bless you with. Prepare yourself, yet trust in Him...that's exactly what you are doing. Reading and keep on your knees.
I have said that same thing a million times over, I am so thankful to have adopted transracially or adopted at all at a time when we know so much more and we understand how to do this better than before. The books alone amaze me, and then to think that you can't go anywhere without seeing a transracial family, at least in our area you can't. That's a huge blessing!
Praying for you!
I am more than sure you have these feelings!! You handle it with such grace though, all we can do is think about all the excitement!! It is so courageous of you. With all the changes, adustments, work etc, you wouldn't have warm blood in your veins if you weren't feeling fear. That is why you know that God is with you through it all. Isnt' that wonderful? It is such a relief when I can tune into knowing that throughout my day, in whatever I do. There is no preparation that can be done that will be more important than trusting in His perfect love, guidance and His peace in what will sometimes feel like chaos. I am so privledged to have your journey to follow Charissa. In your HUGE undertakings, (don't let that scare you), you encourage me with my little ones. And I know, if God is with me as I take my baby steps, surely He is with you and has His hand on you and these beautiful children making their way home.
You are not alone in this. Don't forget,K? love to you, Charissa.
Elaine
I love that the Lord sometimes ask us to do things that we feel like are slightly out of our sphere of capabilities. It makes us realize all the more how much we rely on Him! We are so excited for you!
Charissa, I am so unbelievably proud to call you my friend! Congrats on the adoption news...I just found out!
ps so sorry about your finger:(
You can do it. I know you can. It will be a challenge but you are up to it.
Jan
SOOO EXCITING!!! I know that God's blessings will be overflowing in your home!
I would worry about you if you were not nervous about bringing 3 new children into your house. You have an awesome family and I am certain that God is not calling you to do anything He is not going to give you the resources to handle. Thanks for letting me follow along.
Kayla
Wow, I'm speechless! Many many prayers! How wonderful for all involved!
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