Thursday, November 6, 2008

jester 5 said...
What things did you discuss as far as age of the adopted child...with Hope's age specifically? Or was that something that was even considered?

As the oldest what kind of "kid feedback" did Simeon give you throughout the process?

When we first decided to adopt, we had agreed that we wanted a boy or girl younger than our youngest. Hope was almost 3 at the time, so the child must be 2 or under. We were also looking for a child that was at a 'higher' level of functioning (in other words, must have potential in mobility, communication, potty training, etc), and no significant health needs.

So we laughed later when the child we fell in love with was older than our youngest child, showed no signs of mobility, communication, or potty training, and supposedly had a heart condition that would need surgery ASAP.

I am reminded of the saying, "We plan, God laughs". That is certainly how it happened with us. I do kind of have a "thing" about the adopted child being the youngest, although many other birth order adoption situations that have worked out beautifully in other families.

What feedback did our older children give us in the process? Well, I remember we used to pray for the orphans every day before we ever told the kids about our plans for adoption. I remember that several times after praying, the kids would reason that if these kids needed a family, and we had extra love and extra room, why couldn't we just take one or two? They were excited about adoption all along. One thing that I tried to do from the very beginning was to emphasize to my kids that they were just as much a part of changing this little girl's life as I was. Rather than emphasizing that she needed a mommy and a daddy, we spent more time talking about how excited she would be to find out that she had FOUR brothers and sisters! I really think this helped them see adoption as their ministry too, and not just mine.

Even this morning as Hope was holding Ava, rocking and singing to her (as she does every day), Hope said, "Mommy she really loves me, doesn't she? She's so happy she has a sister now."

2 comments:

schoolmother said...

Charissa,
I just loved the post about how you decided to adopt a child with DS and the one about the Russian orphans. I am teary-eyed.
Joy

Justine said...

Thank you for these posts about adoption! I meet my social worker for my homestudy for the first time tomorrow and it is encouraging to read about your process!

:)
Justine